


i can't handle change

by blazingmay



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Cuddles, Hugs, Lowercase, M/M, Steven Universe Future, Steven Universe Future Spoilers, Steven Universe Needs Therapy, and is NOT based on me ahaha, but its my middle name LMAO, my oc is trans male btw, oc birth name isnt my birth name, oc last name isnt mine either, steven identifies as queer when they get together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:15:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 32,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22793857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blazingmay/pseuds/blazingmay
Summary: "nothing i do is ever good. nothing i do is ever good enough. leave me alone." (i can't handle change by roar)sixteen year old steven quartz universe is living his happily ever after. with some emotional baggage and dealing with himself turning pink, how is this not a happily ever after?eighteen year old blaze may just graduated and got out of a toxic relationship, so he is going on vacation to get his mind off of things.this is the story of how they fall in love, fall apart, and fight through everything together.
Relationships: Steven Universe/Original Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi so this is my first steven universe story and it takes place during steven universe future! so if you aren't caught up, i'd say be careful or don't read because.... there's spoils. also my oc is me lmao i've gained a huge crush on suf steven and idk why :^( so this is how i would imagine an emotional rollercoaster with this traumatized boy would be. all of my oc's past is NOT based on me!! i just gave him my name, but nothing in his past happened to me. also my "friends" are fictional as well. anyway i rly hope you enjoy this. updating may not be frequent bc im in college and its stressful :(

it’s 9 am in a small studio apartment in south jersey. the alarm blares a familiar tune for blaze to wake up. he slams his fingers on the phone, snoozing it for nine minutes. today is the he goes on vacation with his "friends" to another state for two weeks. to a nice, fun beach as a graduation trip, and to get his mind off of…  **_him_ ** . his mind wanders back to their last real conversation.

**_“youre joking, right? i spent $10 for your graduation ticket, $15 for these flowers and $5 for these candies, and you want to… leave me? you’re fucking around, right, blaze?”_ **

**_“no... jayce i-i can’t keep doing this! you’re driving me crazy, i haven’t felt happy with you in MONTHS! no, YEARS, jay! we were fine for the first couple years but you just got worse. and im finally leaving this hell hole.”_ **

**_“youre going to regret it blaze. remember who was the only one who supported you through your transition. remember who went to your first hormone consultation. remember who-”_ **

**_“STOP using that against me! i’m sick of it! i’m leaving. my stuff is already packed and gone, but.. you wouldnt know that because you dont pay attention.”_ **

the alarm blares again. he groans and sits up on the bed. he hates having flashbacks for dreams. he grabs his phone and looks at his messages. he has a few from them.

**alice 8:50 am: hey girl u up**

**alice 8:52 am: i hope u are bc we leaving at 10**

**alice 9:06 am: BITCH good mornign <333**

**conner 9:08: Blair wake tf up so Alice can shut the hell up**

blaze giggles at his goofy friends and messages them back, letting them know he’s awake. he sighs in a little sadness over the use of his birth name still being said by his best friends since he has yet to come out to them, but he gets over it. he changes his clothes to dark gray sweatpants, chest binder and a baggy dark pink shirt with a yellow happy face emoticon on it. he calls alice and tells her he’s ready and they can come pick him up whenever. as he waits, he does some personal researching on beach city, delmarva by himself.

he opens google and types “beach city delmarva artifacts.” he scrolls and sees a boardwalk with rides, some food places and he clicks on images. theres a photo from a couple years ago of the mayor and a small child shaking hands and another one of them smiling at the camera. blaze clicks on news and goes to the first article.

“ **Teen Child Saves Beach City… Once Again** ”

**_As we all may know by now, Beach City and it’s citizens used to be in frequent danger due to aliens known as “Gems.” However, Steven Universe, a teenage half gem half human boy, saves the city again from another Gem alien. After years of silence and no danger while Universe was in space helping out with the now good Gems, a surprise came suddenly. A pink gem who goes by the name Spinel comes with such machinery and technology that not even us humans can handle. She drops the weapon into our terf, leaking it’s liquids and contaminating our earth. Luckily, Steven Universe saved the day. Sixteen-year-old Universe took weeks and even months to fix-”_ **

honk honk goes the sound of a car outside. blaze, knowing it’s alice and conner. he grabs his luggages, and sighs. goodbye studio apartment he doesnt know how he’s paying for without a real job and only gets money by performing music at local venues. and hello beach city babes. he exits his apartment, double locking it. he hops into alice’s minivan and everyone cheers “beach city fun time!”

“hey, can we stop by the main office? gotta pay this month's rent before we leave,” blaze says. they go pay the rent, and then leave to be on their way.

“did anyone research this place?” alice says while driving the highway.

“i did! the place is.. kinda great. nice big beach, friendly people. they seem to all know each other,” blaze responds.

“well they better get ready, because beach city is expecting some new faces! god i hope i get some… summer flings~” conner laughs

“please, if you end up getting a guy before i do, im gonna be pissed!” alice laughs.

blaze chuckles. “guys, but who’s the musician here? oh yeah, ME! if anyone is getting a summer boyfriend, it’ll be me. who doesn’t want a…  _ girlfriend _ who can play the guitar, piano AND sing?” he chuckles

“blair, you only attract girls. everyone knows that. you’ll be the first and only one to get a girlfriend! considering the fact im gay and alice is straight!” conner yells in laughter

“we betting money on this? fifteen bucks if i meet a guy first who totally wants to get with me”

“oh you’re on sister!”

everyone in the vehicle laughs. driving more than 3 hours, they listen to music and blaze and conner even end up taking naps. after the super long drive, they finally made it to beach city, delmarva. when they pull into the parking lot of the beach house, they start to unload their belongings from the minivan. the boardwalk isn’t even a long walk! a good ten minutes or so. after they set their luggages in the beach house, they all look at each other.

“first one to the shore gets $5!” conner says and then starts to run.

“you bitch!” alice goes back to her bedroom to get her sandals and blaze runs out the door, sneakers still on.

as they both run, blaze’s main focus is setting foot on the boardwalk first. he runs but as he almost reaches the boardwalk, he trips over his shoelaces and almost lands face first into the wooded floors.

“woah there, be careful!” a voice calls out, saving blaze from his fall.

blaze realizes he never made an impact, instead landing in the arms of a boy. he looks up at the boy, making eye contact and conner reaches the boardwalk.

“ha! i win! blair, you and al owe me $5! blair? where’d you go- oh.” he watches blaze and this boy, smirks and then runs back towards the beach house to crash into alice.

“you alright?” the tall curly haired boy speaks.

“um. y-yeah. lost a bet though,” blaze gives a short laugh.

“i think not hitting your head matters more than owing someone money,” he chuckles. “i’ve never seen you around here before. tourists? my name is steven. steven universe!”

“oh! not really tourists, but kind of? my friends and i are here on vacation. i heard about you. you’re that teen kid who saved this place or something like that.”

“haha, yeah i guess you could say that. i’d love to show you around town! and your friends of course.”

“that’d be great! oh, i’m blaze by the way.”

“it’s really nice to meet you, blaze. so... where did your friend go?”

blaze turns around and doesn’t see conner or alice anywhere nearby. he groans. not surprising they already dipped on him on the first day. steven gives a small smile.

“well. i’d love to give you a tour around then. there’s a lot going on around here, all good!” they both start to walk down the boardwalk.

“we have funland which is the amusement side of the boardwalk, we have fish stew pizza which is the local pizza place, beach citywalk fries which is where they sell fries, the big donut where the best donuts are served and… the beach! where the beautiful sun rises and sets, where the water is normally calm, and where you can see my house! i live up there!” steven points to a rock like home, with the rock carved into a giant woman. “oh, there’s also little homeworld which is the new home and place for Gems who want to live the Earthly home life!”

“gems…? i dont think i understand.”

“gems are an extraterrestrial species of magic! they can shapeshift, use powers to do stuff and like.. there’s a long history about us. but i am half gem! my mom was a diamond, my dad is human. she gave up her physical form to become me and left a lot of weight and baggage on my shoulders, but that’s another story. i-i feel like im giving too much information on your first day…”

“no worries! im... kind of interested, if thats okay?” blaze smiles at the curly haired boy.

he smiles back, with a slight blush. “yeah, i’d love to tell you more about the gems and beach city! maybe i could.. treat you out to a late lunch or dinner later?” steven says with a cute smile that makes blaze turn red.

“i’d love that!” bzz bzz, blaze phone starts to ring. “oh, it’s alice. she asked why  **_i_ ** wandered off,” sigh, “always blaming me. but um, i’d love to have eat with you! where should we…”

“we can meet up where we crashed into each other. and don’t worry about paying for it, it’s on me!” steven gives a little wink that practically blows up blaze. “save your money for the vacation. i’ll see you later!” and he just walks off.

blaze stares at him as he goes and watches him jump and float in the air. if he wasn’t distracted by how this all turned out (“so youre telling me that this very attractive boy who is probably younger than me wants to go out to dinner? just to tell me about his alien friends? and HE’S paying? a DATE?), then he would’ve questioned why this boy was floating in mid air. but since he was distracted, he ignores it all and makes his way back to the beach house. assuming that’s where his friends are.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is just an introduction to what gems are! ik Rebecca stated that this show is taken in a universe where gems were in their history... but in the pilot/beginning, lars didn't even know WHAT they were so that means there are people out there who still don't know who or what they are ! so neither does blaze :^) sorry this is a long one, just an intro like i said

when he finally makes it to the beach house, blaze sees conner and alice sitting on the porch step with little smirks on their face. he rolls his eyes and sits right in between them.

“soooo... who’d ya meet? who’s the cute boy you ACTUALLY met before us?” conner starts pushing blaze back and forth.

“his name is steven and he wants to go out to dinner later,” blaze smirks. “he’s honestly a really cute guy. anyway you guys, do you want to walk the boardwalk or just stay in for the day?”

“meh, since alice dipped on the boardwalk because her flip flops werent on, im in the mood to stay in today. we can look around tomorrow.”

“shouldnt have betted money. i could’ve met this steven before blair did!” alice huffs airs and pouts.

“oh stop complaining. im sure there are other boys out there for you both.”

for the rest of the afternoon, the best friends unpack and set up things such as gaming consoles, putting away some canned foods they bought beforehand and their clothing. blaze checks the time, it’s 5:30, and he realizes he never asked what time to meet up with steven! gosh darn it, dummy head. blaze goes to his bedroom and changes into something good for the event which ends up just being black jeans and the same shirt. he slips on his vans sneakers and goes to the door.

“okay bye ya’ll, i’ll see you guys after the dinner!”

“have fun on your date. still jelly you got a date the same day we arrived,” alice scoffs.

“hehe, bye love,” conner giggles and continues his super smash bro’s match.

blaze exits and makes his way to where he crashed into the boy. once he gets there, he notices he isnt there. maybe he got there too early? he looks around and decides to walk to the arcade nearby. he sees a few things that… don’t really catch his eye, but there's a fortune telling machine named zoltron. not that interesting, but he’s willing to waste quarters. he goes to it, put the quarter in and it does it’s weird machine whirring and then speaks.

“your future will be different and unexpected. your lucky numbers are 08, 16 and 17.”

okay.

“that old machine. still shocked it’s up and running since i had to pay back for it when i gave it a light tap.”

blaze turns to his left and sees... steven! he smiles and blushes lightly. “h-hey! i didnt know what time to come… so sorry if im too early or late..”

“no! you’re all good. was actually hoping for this time. shall we go eat?” he smiles and holds out his arm. blaze giggles and links his arm.

they walk to fish stew pizza which isn’t a long walk and steven asks if blaze is okay with plain pizza because he is a vegetarian and of course he says yes. so steven just decides to start the conversation while the food is being made fresh.

“so. i said what gems were, but i should start from the beginning. White Diamond, the highest and mightiest Gem created three other gems. Yellow Diamond, Blue Diamond and Pink Diamond. and within those Diamonds, they all took over different planets and created colonies. except Pink Diamond. they rest created other gems, gems obviously less powerful. the gems classified lower than the Diamonds, starting from highest rank are: Emeralds, Sapphires, Aquamarines, Lapis Lazulis, Jades, Topazes, Nephrites, Quartzes, Peridots, Rubies, Pearls and honestly, even more! back to Pink Diamond, she uh. really wanted a colony. but when she finally got one, she fell in love with it. that…. was planet Earth. here! she couldn’t bear to see herself destroy the earth, so she tried going to Blue and Yellow about it.. but they wouldn’t listen and decided to just… take humans from earth and create a “zoo”, where she could see earth life continue to live.”

steven stops talking, sighs and continues speaking.

“after so long of the other Diamonds not listening to her, she decided to fight back against them. as a Rose Quartz. Pink, as Rose, and her Pearl started a rebellion against the Diamonds, called the Crystal Gems. she made it seem like she went against Pink Diamond, when she was really just staging everything. soon enough… she went to end this war and mader her Pearl shapeshift into Rose instead and to “shatter” Pink Diamond…. well. that didn’t go well. the other Diamonds were in such despair that they couldn’t even handle the fact that Earth was still there. so they went to earth, and went to DESTROY IT! Rose's shield is what saved Garnet and Pearl. oh! i forgot to bring up Garnet! Garnet was a Sapphire and a Ruby. during the rebellion, a Sapphire was in Blue Diamond’s court and was reporting something. sapphire’s have the ability to see the future. sapphire’s guards were three rubies! so when the rebels arrived and was about to poof Sapphire, one Ruby wouldn’t allow that and she rushed to save Sapphire! in that process…. they fused.”

“what… is fuse?” blaze cuts him off.

“fusion is when two gems combine into one bigger gem! so when Sapphire and Ruby fused…. it caused a riot! they unfused so quick in fear and the other gems were disappointed in disgust. so. they ran away. in the process of running away, they crashed into mo- um. Pink Diamond, but as Rose Quartz and the Pearl. after that, they fused again and stayed fused as Garnet! now, after Rose saved the two, they continued their life on Earth. to defend it! years and years later, Rose met a man named Greg, a human man! and he fell in love with her instantly, she eventually fell for him as well. they were in love for years until she decided to give up her life for a child, his child. meaning: leaving Pink Diamond in the past, Rose Quartz leaving forever, and putting every single little problem and issue onto her new half human half gem son, making him incredibly depressed and growing up with a bunch of trauma and people after him for having her gem.”

…. “uh, steven. that’s oddly specific.”

steven chuckles. “welcome to my life. well. after she gave up her physical form to create her son, he grew up with the gems Garnet and Pearl, and a new addition to the Crystal Gems, Amethyst! an amethyst who stuck inside the ground for too long, becoming different from the rest. together, all four of these gems fought against corrupted gems from when the Diamonds tried to destroy Earth. fourteen years after his birth, the diamonds came down to Earth to get rid of them once and for all. Luckily, the kid got into their minds and convinced him that he _was_ Pink Diamond! then, they had to go to their home planet to convince White Diamond, the leader of it all, that Earth is a great home and that they need to fix all the corrupted gems. took a while, but he convinced her as well and then bam! everyone was healed. i mean, look at Bixbite! she’s so happy with her job. everything has gone so well for everyone, even after Little Homeworld, and Little Homeschool. after the Spinel incident a few months ago, which was just this gem who came to Earth to kill the boy because of once again his mother, all the gems are happy. except one,” he sighs at the end.

“which is… the boy?”

“yup.”

“who... who’s this boy? i feel like he needs a hug.”

steven laughs and smiles at blaze, “i think he needs more than a hug. but you’re looking at him!”

blaze just stares at steven, in somewhat shock. but in his head, he screams. DUH OF COURSE IT WAS HIM, HOW ELSE WOULD HE KNOW THE ENTIRE STORY? NO HUMAN WOULD 

JUST KNOW EVERYTHING FRONT TO END UNLESS THEY SIT AND LISTEN TO IT ALL LIKE I DID. NKHFVHJBDFVDSGBJ VFBN DBHNJBVHNKVDBSJNGDBVNJIZDV JNMOFKMLVKMGFBVNJ K

“uh, blaze? hello? are you alive there?”

“y-yeah, sorry. my mind blanked out, i’m a boba. are you alright though? are you sure you don’t want a hug?”

“oh, no! i’ll take a hug anyday!” he chuckles and gets up from the booth to the other side where blaze is at and gives him a big hug, squeezing and all. blaze, of course, ends up blushing mad hard. then the food comes out.

“here ya go steven! on a date, huh?” a girl comes with the pizza, setting it on the table in front of us.

steven’s face goes a little red and responds. “haha, not really, kiki. she’s here for vacation and was interested in what’s been going on!”

blaze literally hears his heart shatter at steven calling him a she. he forgot to tell him his pronouns??? BLAZE WHAT???

“.... yeah.”

steven looks at blaze, noticing the change of vibe.

“well, i hope you guys enjoy the pizza!” kiki says and walks back. steven stays next to blaze instead of back across.

“are... you alright?”

“yeah! can’t wait to feast on this pizza! Yay!” blaze smiles to try and ignore his emotions.

“o...kay. let’s eat then.”

the two start to eat the plain cheese pizzas in silence, both feeling the dense air. blaze, not being able to tell this guy he just met that he’s trans. and steven, knowing something is clearly wrong and doesn’t want to force anything from blaze. but steven being the bigger person he is today, he decides to continue.

“did i, uh. say something wrong? i’m gonna be straightforward, i know when something is wrong so im like…. somewhat feeling the vibe you’re giving off? whatever i said wrong, i apologize and can fix.”

blaze’s mind is spinning and he’s just confused so without thinking, he blurts it out, “I’M NOT A GIRL, I’M A DUDE.”

…. that wasn’t so hard, right?

“Okay.” he takes another bite.

…. that’s it? like seriously? just... okay. Huh.

“if i messed up your pronouns, you can just tell me. one of my friend’s significant other is non-binary, goes by gender neutral pronouns. misgendering someone is NEVER my intention.”

blaze smiles, sighing in joy and shoving more pizza in his mouth. “thank you, steven. wow, look at me. being treated with so much respect on the first day we meet,” he giggles.

steven chuckled. “you know what they say.”

“... what do they say?”

he blushes, having said that as a joke but now embarrassed. “if…. every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs….?”

blaze just stares at him. and then bursts out laughing, “i don’t even know what that means.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> internally, steven’s mind be like: god im such an idiot  
> also,,, im lowkey in love with steven js  
> i shoved writing this in one day, but don't expect that often bc school work :( i just wanted to get out at least one or two chapters. ill be back soon tho ;)


	3. Chapter 3

not long after eating, they finally decide to part their ways.

“sorry for me dozing off at times, i’m kind of a nut. thinking about it now, i think you told me you were a diamond before this dinner. i apologize for me being a airhead,” blaze gives a light chuckle.

steven smiles and laughs. he asks blaze for his number so they can keep in contact during his 2 week stay in beach city, so they exchange numbers. steven was going to offer to walk him home, but he got scared and decided not to. so blaze walks back to the beach house, and sees alice and conner making dinner.

“hey, gurl. how’d that date go?” alice smiles.

“guys, it wasn’t a date. just met the kid today. but the dinner went well. he was telling me about all the gems and his friends. this seems like a really interesting place. and i’d love to keep in contact with him while we’re here. he’s... cute,” blaze smiles.

“aw, one day in and my baby girl is already slipping….” conner giggles. he stirs the mac n cheese… or whatever he’s making.

“oh, shut up con. what are we doing tomorrow, ladies?”

“i wanna see what’s on the boardwalk! you probably saw some of it, but we want to also! maybe we’ll crash into steven~” alice laughs.

the two finish making their food. alice and conner eat while blaze just goes to play LOZ on the shared switch. then all three decide to go watch a couple movies before they pass out. halfway through the third movie, alice and conner pass out. blaze continues to watch and then he gets a ping on his phone.

**unknown number 12:00 am: Hi! This is Blaze’s #, right?**

**unknown number 12:00 am: It’s Steven :^)**

blaze smiles, responding back.

**blaze 12:03 am: any normal person would be asleep by midnight, u know?**

**steven 12:04 am: Haha, yeah. Luckily it’s Friday today, the gems don’t go to Little Homeschool until 10, so I don’t have to wake up really early.**

**blaze 12:05 am: dumb question since i am already human and know human life, but could i possibly get to see how little homeschool is like? lowkey wanna meet some other gems.**

**steven 12:05 am: Of course!**

**steven 12:06 am: You could bring your friends too if you’d like!**

**steven 12:09 am: It was really nice to meet someone new. A lot of my friends are doing their thing, and my best friend has been busy lately so I haven’t seen her in a while. It felt nice to just… be with someone, you know?**

**blaze 12:10 am: aw steven**

**blaze 12:11 am: im sorry to hear that, but i’ll be here for two weeks :) i’d love to hang with u as much as i can! ik we just met today but i can see ur a harmless kid**

**blaze 12:11 am: ur sixteen right? i’ve never been friends w someone younger than me but ur rly mature for ur age :)**

**steven 12:14 am: How… old are you? Lol. Also yeah… growing up the way I did, it makes sense why I matured quickly. I got put in Gem prison at 14! Lmao**

**blaze 12:26 am: LOL im eighteen. i just graduated high school, hence why im on vacation. also prison at 14? jeez, u top my ex. he got put in juvenile detention for six months at 17 yrs old he told me lmao.**

blaze yawns, letting the movie play and them on the floor. he finally gets up and walks to his bedroom, setting his phone on the charger while he does his normal nightly routine. pee, brush teeth, face mask. he walks back into the kitchen, grabs a water bottle from the fridge and goes back to his room and lays on his bed. since the outlet is next to the bed, he checks his phone.

**steven 12:28 am: Oh wow. Congrats on graduating! I’ve never gone to school. Spent my life with the gems and my dad in his van.**

**steven 12:40: You fall asleep? I hope you sleep well. I’ll see you later today :^)**

blaze starts to type back, but just leaves it. he’ll see him today anyway.

…

**_“blair. we are happy that you found someone you… love… but there’s something we need to tell you, dear.”_ **

**** **_“we don’t like that boy! you either leave him, or we’re kickin’ you out!”_ **

**** **_“... excuse me? you’re threatening to kick out your sixteen year old child because i’m dating someone older?”_ **

**** **_“blair, you know that isn't our only problem.”_ **

**** **_“then what else is the problem, mother?”_ **

**** **_“it's your attitude after you started dating that man! he isn’t even a boy! he’s_ ** **_twenty years old!_ ** **_that isn't even legal, he can go to jail!”_ **

**** **_“age of consent is sixteen, dad.”_ **

**** **_“YOU’VE BEEN DATING HIM SINCE YOU WERE FOURTEEN!”_ **

**** **_“how would YOU know that?”_ **

**** **_“alice told us, blair.”_ **

**** **_alice… alice?_ **

**** “blair?”

**** blaze opens his eyes and sees alice looking at him. he groans and reaches for his phone, checking the time. 11 am. she asks him if he's going with her and conner to walk the boardwalk because they're leaving in a half hour. he inhales and says sure. she gets out of his way so he can take a shower and so he gets up and goes to shower. ugh. another flashback as a dream. before he gets in, he checks his messages.

**** **steven 10:00 am: Good morning! I hope you're sleeping well.**

**** **steven 10:15 am: Sorry for the chain messages. Just wanted to say Little Homeschool ends at 1:30 today, if you decide to still come. Would you want to grab a bite after? Whether it be my place or boardwalk food… your choice. If you want to grab a bite! Haha..**

blaze giggles and texts him back before showering.

**** **blaze 11:13 am: hey steven. sorry i just woke up. i'm gonna walk the boardwalk with my friends but i'll find my way to little homeschool a little after and i’d love to grab a bite :-) maybe 12-12:30 i'll be there?**

**** blaze showers for ten minutes and then gets out to get dressed. chest binder, black t-shirt and blue jeans with his white vans. he exits his room at around 11:30 and sees the two sitting on the couch. they see him and get up, then leave to walk to the boardwalk. after ten minutes of walking, the enter said place and begin to walk around to see how it is. alice complains she feels like it’s too small and conner thinks it’s a good place to hang around. blaze sees a short green gem walk out of Fish Stew Pizza with a taller blue gem. the other two don’t seem to notice, but blaze listens as the two walk behind blaze and his friends.

“UGH lapis, tell me why  _ we _ are the one’s delivering the pizza to Little Homeschool?”

“because steven is busy and so are the others. besides, he gave us extra money and told us to keep the change, so.”

“why do we need human currency?”

“for stuff like the arcade and roller coasters.”

“i’m not tall enough for that.”

blaze giggles at their conversation, haven’t noticed alice and conner stopped walking and he bumps into them. alice smacks her lips in an annoyed tone and he looks at why they stopped. they’ve seen gems for the first time! blaze smiles widely and sees a bunch of gems in the amusement park. they’re helping with the rides, games and prizes! this is a beautiful thing!

“um... these aren’t humans..?” alice says.

“i don’t know what they are… but they look so cool… look at those tiny red bodyguards! so cuteeee.” conner awes.

blaze impulsively dips on them and starts walking up to some gems. the first one he approaches is a tall white and gray gem who works at an ice cream/snow cone stand. he smiles widely and asks for her name. snowflake obsidian… he squeals in excitement and says it’s nice to meet her. he then walks to another one. she’s a buff gem with all sorts of colored skin and peach-like hair. he also asks for her name, she says crazy lace and he jumps up and down in joy. she smiles and hands him a balloon. he walks away in pure happiness. he looks to find his friends but finds they are nowhere to be seen. he decides not to text them either. he checks the time. exactly noon. he walks up to another gem and asks the way to Little Homeschool.

a little over fifteen minutes, he makes it to the place and he’s in wow. this place looks so colorful and cool, he can’t believe it! he walks around and sees some humans there as well. so maybe it is normal to have humans here hence why steven was so okay with him coming.

“hey blaze!”

he turns around and sees steven from a distance. he smiles and walks towards him. steven hugs him, but pulls away quickly and apologizes because he’s a hugger.

“everything is going quickly today, they might be dismissed earlier! i think another fifteen minutes and everything will be good to go! did you want to grab a bite at my place or…? i make some killer food sometimes,” steven chuckles.

“sure! i don’t mind.”

“cool! you can walk around, talk to some gems if you’d like. or sit and wait, whatever you want.”

blaze decides to walk around a little more, seeing so many different gems and colors. they all look so… interesting. they all vary in sizes which appeals to him. he walks around until he notices gems leaving, so he decides to find steven again. he walks to him, but steven turns around too quickly resulting in them bumping into each other. he apologizes frantically and blaze just giggles. he looks up and giggles too. they’re both just… giggling messes. then they finally break the laughter when steven offers his arm.

“shall i escort m’lord to thy house?” he says with another giggle.

blaze just stares at it, smiles again and latches his arm to the younger boy’s arm. they walk to his dondai supremo, steven holds the door open for blaze and he gets in as well. he plugs in a tape of Sadie Killer & the Suspects’s music, reaches for his phone and types something. once he sets it down, he starts the car and starts to drive to his home on the beach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK CAN WE PLZ TALK ABT THE RETURN TRAILER??? MY POOR BABY, I WANT GIVE HUG TO HE :(((((((


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: this might be needed?? just alcohol, drunk texting, hangovers. mentions of mental abuse, toxic relationships, and manipulation.

the two make it to steven’s house not long after and steven escorts blaze to his house. they walk up stairs, he opens the door for him and they both walk inside. blaze stares at the house in awe. it’s small, yet big enough for one person to live in. he walks in more, his eyes leading up the stairs to what he assumes is steven’s room. shifts them towards the door in between the clear platform and the couches. his eyes change aim, going to the kitchen and then the ceiling. steven watches blaze with and eyebrow tilting upwards and he chuckles.

“like my house, huh?”

blaze blushes, feeling like he was being intrusive, “o-oh. yeah, i really like the house. it’s very homey and comfy looking. what’s that platform over there?”

“the warp pad! it takes me wherever else has a platform like so! out of the planet, and wherever on Earth has it! would you like to try it? we can stop by little homeworld and back just to show you.”

“oh. um, sure? do i need anything?” blaze says curiously.

“nope! just your body. watch your step,” steven says as he grabs his arm and drags him towards the warp pad. when he lets go, blaze frowns a little. steven triggers the warp pad, and they float towards wherever it leads them. blaze gets a little scared and unbalanced, so steven grabs both of his hands and smiles.

they make it to the warp at little homeworld, and blaze has a huge shocked face.

“we... we REALLY just teleported?”

“haha, yeah.”

“and it can only happen on those platforms?”

“mhm.”

“cool…. Beach city just keeps getting cooler and cooler.”

steven nods and chuckles, leading the warp back to his home. “so, what would you like to eat?”

“uh... whatever you want. i eat basically anything, so whatever you WANT to make, i’ll eat.”

so steven goes to make some pasta with garlic bread. but the twist is… it’s not garlic bread. it’s PIZZA bread! after about fifteen minutes into him cooking, blaze doesn’t realize his phone has been ringing for five minutes straight. it’s on mute AND in his small drawstring bag. so he just continues to chat with steven as he cooks their food. when the food is done, they continue to eat and talk at the table together. blaze is enjoying himself so much because he has someone to vibe with that aren’t his best friends all the time, and steven is extremely happy because even though blaze is older, he has someone to vibe with as well while connie is out doing her thing for school. it’s a win-win!

after an hour of endless conversations, blaze looks for his phone to check the time.

“steven, you got the time? also, can you call my phone? i think i misplaced it.”

steven tells blaze it’s almost three o’clock and then he calls his phone. blaze can’t hear it, remembering he turned his sound off when he was at little homeschool. he mumbles a ‘fuck’ and starts to dig through his bag that had his wallet, an extra t-shirt and his phone charger. he then sees the phone and steven hangs up. grabbing the phone, blaze looks at his notification bars and sucks air through his teeth. Whoops.

**16 Missed Calls from alice💀**

**3 Missed Calls from conno🌈**

**1 Missed Call from S.U.🌟**

**alice 12:30 PM: hey i think we lost u lol**

**alice 12:56 PM: uhhhh are u okay???**

**conner 1:00 PM: Blair, where did you go? Alice is having a cow.**

**conner 1:01 PM: You know, doing her bs when she gets mad at something and starts talking shit.**

**alice 1:15 PM: blair lmao youre a piece of shit**

**alice 1:15 PM: i bet u ditched us for this steven boy huh lmfao. Okay.**

**alice 1:17 PM: when u get back home, good fucking luck lmfao**

**conner 1:20 PM: Yup. She’s pissed.**

**alice 2:30 PM: way to ruin the trip, blair may.**

blaze stares at his phone and gives a huge sigh. i mean, maybe he should’ve sent a text to them saying he got separated from them and decided to go be with steven because he is a cute nice kid who even though today is the second day, he already loves being with him. but he forgot, so. steven notices blaze looking annoyed and upset.

“you alright? i couldn’t help but notice the huge sigh,” he chuckles, then goes serious, “you alright?”

“yeah… just. ugh, my best friend is mad at me for not contacting her all day. i think i should go home. i’m sorry, steven.”

“no, no! it's alright. we can hang out another time, promise! let me take you home.”

they walk to steven’s car, blaze texting conner.

**blaze 3:03 PM: hey**

**blaze 3:03 PM: omw to the house**

**conner 3:05 PM: Alright. Alice left to see if there's any liquor stores that don't check IDs. She says, and I quote, “Blair always does this shit. I need a fucking drink.”**

**blaze 3:06 PM: lmao over dramatic!!**

**blaze 3:06 PM: be there in five**

steven decides to bring up another conversation as they drive.

“not to get sentimental, but um. i'm happy i have someone to hang out or see for a while. i hope this isn't just a vacation friendship where we meet, be friends while you're here and then stop talking when you leave.”

“trust me, i need a break from those two a lot so i definitely won't forget you. plus, beach city? unforgettable. don't worry. these two weeks won't be shit, it'll be worth the time.”

steven chuckled as they then drove in silence. the drive was short, considering everything in beach city is close to each other. they make it to the beach house, arriving a few minutes before alice gets back. blaze thanks steven, tells him he'll text him when he gets the chance and shimmies his way inside.

“just in time. alice called and said she caught a cab because she wants to save her walking for the amusement park tomorrow. even though she's upset with you… you are going, right?” conner speaks as soon as blaze walks in.

“uh, yeah. if she stops being upset with me. i forgot to text you guys that i ended up crashing into steven when i got lost. you lose track of time when you're having fun!” he gives a nervous laugh.

the door opens and barges in alice, carrying a black plastic bag and a pizza box. she steps in, close the door with her feet and just screams.

“GUESS WHO HOT ALCOHOL AND A DATE WITH A HOT 21 YEAR OLD! THIS GIRL! i told him i was in town with my best friends and he offered liquor and pizza for us in exchange of a DATE AND I TOOK IT! girls, we’re getting DRUNK THIS WEEK!”

“well, i guess she's over it already,” conner whispers to blaze, giving a laugh.

“blair, eat shit by the way. but we have free food so i’ll deal with anger another time. LET’S START DRINKING!”

an hour passed by, about five shots per person and over half a pizza box full. neither of them are sober and they're all just lying about. conner speaks out loud.

“so are y'all ok? you both know i hate when you guys argue or are hostile towards each other. i feel like i always have to choose sides.”

alice shrugs. “i don't know. tell blair to stop being stupid and no one has sides to choose because we’ll all be in one.”

“i genuinely forgot to message you guys. i was distracted being with steven and you guys, he's so nice and cute AND he can cook. i know i just met him, but imagine a future with him!” blaze breathes out, feeling drunk and sorrowful.

alice and conner sigh. alice says, “blair. you just met the guy. he's sixteen isn't he? first you go for older guys, and now a kid? blair, you just got out of this super toxic relationship with jayceon (jason). don't believe that just because you met this new male that you're suddenly interested in him and in love. jayce treated you like GARBAGE, and we aren't letting you get treated bad again.”

blaze rolls his eyes and bites back in slurred words, “i’m,... not. in love withhhhh him! i just met the guy like i justt. said. imagine a future with him! he's so cute!! ugh, whatever. when's your date with the adult stranger who gave us free shit man?”

“hehe, tomorrow. he wants to take me to a picnic on the beach. romantic right?”

“yeah, tell good ol’ blair not to fall in love when i haven't even had a real date with steve. you're going on a picnic! on a day WE were supposed to go to the amusement park! whatever. conner and i will go together. i'm going to my bedroom. peaceeee.” and with that, blaze leave the conversation and leaves the living room. to his room.

he checks his phone and sees a couple messages from steven.

**steven 4:25 PM: Hey! I know we just met literally a day ago but um. I just wanna say that, with no pressure, since you have been making my human social life easier, if I can hang out with your friends and you? To get used to human interaction again since it feels like my friends are disappearing?**

**steven 4:25 PM: Shit, I thought this messages app had an unsend button**

**steven 4:39 PM: What I MEANT to say was.. Could I hang out with your friends and you during your time here whenever? Human interaction is getting… weird for me now and even though you are older.. I need friends around my age. My friends are working and busy with cram school so… I really need a friend right now. Or more.**

**steven 4:44 PM: Ugh I’m sorry, just.. ignore all that? I'm sorry. I sound dumb.**

blaze smiles a little, responding to steven’s funny messages.

**blaze 5:00 PM: aw steven lolzz ur fubby**

**blaze 5:00 PM: i meant fubby!!!!!**

**blaze 5:01 PM: fubby?!!!!!!!!**

**blaze 5:01 PM: ugh whafeverrr. anyway, i think it's cool for u to join conner n i at finland tmrrw!**

**blaze 5:02 PM: lol meant funland!! lol duh but yeah alice is ditching us for a boy -_-**

**blaze 5:04 PM: anyway my turn to talkkkkkk**

**blaze 5:10 PM: so my best friend alice was telling me that just because i see a future with u when we just met yesterday is craaaaazy! like omg let me be, i haven't seen a future with anyone else except jayce. and so after she said that, she brought up my SHITTY toxic ex boyfriend who was… shitty and toxic. his name was jayce. if ur interested, what he did was manipulate me into thinking i was crazy! my parents kicked me out at 16 because i loved him. we met when i was 14. longest relationship, my whole high school life. i loved him. but he mentally abused me and then made me feel like shit for the shit he’s done. finally broke up with him and moved out after i graduated… so like a month ago. if i could travel through time, i'd never date him.**

**blaze 5:12 PM: but if i never dated him**

**blaze 5:12 PM: i wouldn't have met u, steevn**

**blaze 5:13 PM: PS, my friends and i are drunk so imma pass out i'll ttyl**

and like that, blaze passes out. back to where steven is, he sits on his couch in confusion. he chuckles after reading each message, but then frowns slowly when he reads about blaze’s ex boyfriend. he responds quickly and hopes he falls asleep.

**steven 5:20 PM: It’s cute that you see a future with me haha. If you REALLY want your future told, just ask Garnet! I’d love for you to meet her and the others. Sorry if anything feels rushed btw. Also, thanks for letting me hang with you and your friend! And… sorry about your ex. He sounds like a bad guy. Hopefully we never have to run into him here lol, this is a city of peace. Um. Anyway, I hope you're sleeping well. Hope you and your friends had fun drinking lol.**

at midnight, blaze wakes up in a frenzy. first, he has to use the bathroom. then he feels dehydrated so he walks out of his bedroom to get a cup of water. he sees conner lying in the couch with a water bottle in hand and alice sitting on the kitchen island, head in arms next to a bowl of sliced fruit. blaze went to grab a strawberry and a grape. must've at least been sitting for an hour, still good. he opens the cabinet and grabs a cup, then pours himself a glass of freezing cool water to quench his thirst. he grabs the bowl of fruit and just takes it to his room. he’ll be awake for a while.

he checks his phone. it's at 37% and has a message from steven. he reads it in confusion and then scrolls up to see what he said. oh. my. god. he drunk texted steven saying he sees a future with him. they just met! oh my god, blaze. you are so embarrassing!!

**blaze 12:15 AM: hey steven um. as u know i drunk texted u**

**blaze 12:16 AM: that ain't weird.. is it? i don't drink a lot normally. in fact this was the first time I actually became drunk. i hope… me underage drinking doesn't change your idea of me. yeah… soooo. disregard everything**

**blaze 12:20 AM: EXCEPT JOINING US TO HANG i still would love that!!**

blaze sighs. conner doesn't even know he goes by blaze. steven does. steven doesn't know blaze’s other name. he doesn't WANT him to know. so he has to tell conner? i mean… conner is gay. he shouldn't understand. but not all gays understand. but conner and blaze have been thru it all, all of high school. conner set blaze up with a girl when he and jayce broke up the first time. blaze didn't like her or find her dateable… but he appreciated conner’s efforts to help. alice just “told you so.” conner even supported blaze even after they got back together. celebratory dinner! alice joined in for the food, but was upset with blaze.

this isn't about alice, blaze! this is about telling conner you're trans! UGH. why is overthinking things and anxiety so difficult to deal with. okay. so when alice leaves to go on the date, he’ll tell conner before they leave! bingo. right? how will he do it? should he do something creative? be straightforward? god damn it blaze, why couldn't you be a cisgender!

_ ping! _

**steven 12:30 AM: Hey! It’s alright haha. You feel any better? Hangover? I woke up from a nightmare so I can't sleep again.**

oh, steven is awake.

**blaze 12:32 AM: nah no hangover but was dehydrated asf!! i also ate some fruit. thanks for worrying. how're u feeling after the nightmare? need a friend?**

**steven 12:35 AM: I always need a friend lol**

**steven 12:36 AM: Do you.. wanna come over? If that ain't weird! Or maybe we could drive around until we get sleepy again**

**blaze 12:38 AM: i… don't mind going over. i like ur house anyway lol**

**steven 12:41 AM: Okay! Um… I won't be taking my car though since we won't be driving around. My other transportation is quicker.**

**blaze 12:42 AM: ? oh?**

**steven 12:44 AM: You ready? I can be there in two**

**blaze 12:45 AM: um i guess ?**

after blaze doesn't get a response, he chugs his water, pees again and grabs his bowl of fruit. he walks to the living room door and sees the two stir in their sleep. drunk heads. blaze gets a texts from steven saying he's here so he opens the squeaky door, leaves and silently shuts it. he turns around to see…! steven on a pink lion?! WHAT! blaze gasps loudly but covers his mouth. steven gives a cheeky grin and chuckles.

“blaze, meet Lion! my pet lion! i’ve had this bad boy since i was thirteen. he's… somewhat reliable. he'll most likely take us to my home haha!”

steven helps blaze into lion, and then he tells him to take him home. lion runs through the streets quickly, and then suddenly they're at stevens place. steven pouts, saying something about “he didn't use the portal thing”. steven escorts blaze inside, and then leads him into the couch. they sit down together, and then conversations just flow. starting from the drinking, to plans of later today, and then a sore subject.

“sorry to ask about this since it's none of my business.. but can i know about your ex boyfriend..?”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> suf episode 13 spoilers:  
> bismuth luv pearl confirmed .


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh I didn't reread any of this so if theres any mistakes I apologize LMAO

“my… ex boyfriend? oh. well um. we started dating when i was fourteen…”

**_jjjayce: hello_ **

**_jjjayce: my name is jayce :)_ **

**_blazemay: um hi_ **

**_blazemay: who are u?_ **

**_jjjayce: lol i told you. i saw your page from some mutuals and i just wanted to say i think you're really cute_ **

**_blazemay: thanks. how old r u bc u look way older than me_ **

**_jjjayce: im 17. ur 13 which i know is weird but i just wanna be friends!_ **

**_blazemay: okay i guess_ **

_and that's what we were. friends. for a good few months. then i turned 14, and him, 18 , made things weirder for us. but… we didnt care. we started gaining feelings for each other and so we kept our relationship on the low. when i hit freshman year and i turned 15, i told my best friend alice. she didn't take it well. she got angry, saying this is illegal and he's gonna break my heart. but jayce treated me perfectly. i loved him and he loved me. we loved each other. then i turned 16, alice was still bitter over it and told my parents. they kicked me out. i got into a fist fight with alice because she made my parents kick me out. i moved in with jayce, eventually alice and i made up and then and my life was just school, best friends and jayce._

_then he started becoming manipulative and abusive. he asked me about threesomes, he kept illegally getting drunk and trying to make me do things with him, but he made me believe i had to stay with him._

**_“you have nowhere to go. your parents hate you, you have no job at 17, and you have a loving caring boyfriend right here to take care of you.”_ **

_i hated it all. i felt forced to stay with him. at some point, i think he may have drugged me and forced me to do things. it was a gross mess. but luckily i finally decided i HAD to leave. before i graduated, alice conner and i helped book an apartment to live in after i break up with him and i slowly kept packing my clothes when he would be at “work.” then i moved out after graduation and it was the biggest hit of reality. i made sure he wouldn't know where i lived, i deleted his number to forget he existed and i'm trying to live my life without him. so we went on vacation._

“oh, i'm sorry. did i… speak too much?”

“no! no, you're… fine. i'm sorry that happened,” steven says in an upset tone.

“yeah, well. four years with someone you love and your parents and best friends hating them should've been a sign, but. it wasn't to me. and it was because i was a kid. ugh. i wasted four years of my life with an idiot,” blaze sighs. “anyway, how do you feel? you said you had a nightmare.”

“oh. uh, yeah. just a nightmare that included my family from homeworld and um. my mom…”

“so, you’re a diamond right? the highest of the higher ups? it was your mom, yes? i know you told me the whole story, but like.. do you still love her?”

“i don’t think i ever did.”

“oh..”

“i never met her, she left to make me but i dealt with all the bullshit she left. it was like she didn’t even THINK that her child would have gone through this. she left all of her burdens on me, she just left the gems and my dad just to make a new being and to confuse everyone. growing up was hard, being a human was hard, being a gem was hard. it was like i couldn’t be both, but now it’s like im ONLY one now. i feel like im barely human, im just.. a gem. my whole life changed and now im half diamond? i don't like change, i can’t handle change, i don’t even KNOW what change is.. i don’t have a future… my dream was that my mom, as Rose, was in front of me. she was… crying. she was apologizing and crying and then she shapeshifted back into Pink Diamond. she stared at me, tears flowing. she said, “steven, i never meant to hurt you.” and then i saw Blue, White, Yellow.. the diamonds by the way. and i saw every traumatic thing that happened to me from them and,” steven inhales and exhales deeply. “i couldn’t take it. i woke up freaked out. i saw your text and it made me realize that i was back in reality.”

“steven... wow. that’s a lot, i’m sorry.”

“yeah, so anyway. i can’t love someone i’ve never met.”

blaze rubs his face, groaning and giving a huge sigh. he smiles and sticks his hand out next to him for steven. steven sees it, chuckles and holds it. they give each other a heartfelt long hug. something they both need right now. blaze feels his eyes shutting, not realizing he’s dozing off. steven goes to pull away, but hears a light snoring. oh stars, blaze fell asleep. steven slowly untangles himself from blaze’s arms. he thinks, should he move blaze to his bed to sleep more comfortably? he decides quickly, then picking blaze up smoothly to not wake him and then walks up the stairs to set him on the bed. he then goes back to the couch, grabs his phone and goes back to set it next to him. steven then goes back to the couch, getting himself comfortable and then lies down. he starts to doze off into a comfy nice slumber.

“yo, steve-o! why you on the couch?” a playful voice.

“steven, were you out late? is that why you are sleeping on the couch?” a worried voice.

“huh? oh. no, a friend came over last night because we couldn’t sleep. they passed out and i put them on my bed so they could sleep comfortably.” a tired groggy voice.

“STEVEN HAD A SLEEPOVER? LEMME MEET THE PERSON!” a loud voice. 

insert feet stomping.

“wait no, amethystttt!” a whine voice. 

insert more feet stomping and someone falling.

“amethyst! be respectful towards steven and his friends!” a serious voice. 

“aww, they're so cute. what's their name?”

“amethyst.” a stern voice. “oh. they are. d’aww.”

“guysssss, leave him aloneeee.”

the bed stirs, and a phone rings. it’s blaze’s phone. the three just stare at him, as blaze slams his phone off and lays on his stomach. a second later, it rings again. he groans and shuts the sound off again, mumbling about his alarm needing to shut up. it goes off a third time and with his eyes still closed, he goes to grab his phone. he opens one eye, seeing it's alice calling. he picks up.

“alice, what do you want?”

“blair. where the fuck are you.”

“what are you talking about? i'm in my bedroom?”

“wanna maybe open your eyes? you ain't in here.”

“what?” blaze opens his eyes and sees an unfamiliar bedroom. he gets terrified and practically gasps loudly and turns around to see steven and two strangers. “uhhhh, steven..?”

“steven? you’re seriously with steven? did you sneak out with him?”

“hold up, i didn’t “sneak” out. i am an adult. secondly, i woke up at midnight and he did as well so he invited me over to hang out until we got sleepy. i just ended up falling back asleep. i’ll be home soon,” and he hangs up groaning. he then looks at the three. “steven, who and why are these two i assume gems looking at me?”

“oh, um. these are two of the gems i grew up with! amethyst, and pearl!”

the short purple one jumped on the bed, slightly scaring blaze. “hiya! your name is blaze? dope name! im amethyst!”

“and i am pearl. it’s nice to meet you! sorry to bother your sleep,” the tall one apologizes.

blaze giggles and sits up. “it’s nice to meet you both. steven, you still joining us at funland?”

“hm? oh, yeah! of course!”

“okay, um. could you take me to the beach house so i can get ready and then we can meet up at funland?”

steven chuckles and leans over to help him up. he pulls him up, resulting in them both tumbling over on the floor. sometimes steven forgets his strength. they fall, and end up laughing hard. pearl and amethyst just watch, amethyst laughing. steven gets up and helps him back up, focusing on the amount of strength he uses. blaze stands up, suddenly having an ache in his chest. ugh. today has to be a binder break day. but… dysphoria. UGH. should he risk his health or be careful and just not bind?

“hey, imma have to drive you. lion is, of course, nowhere to be seen. Okay?”

“yeah, that’s fine.”

the drive to the beach house was silent with some music. short drive, so he drops him off and blaze goes inside to get ready. he walks in, and sees alice fuming everywhere. he gives a huge sigh and a roll of the eyes. here we go.

“blair, i dont know what your problem is or why you keep leaving us but it’s pissing me off. we’re on our third day here and you havent even been with us during the day. did you actually come here to meet someone and ditch us? because it really seems like it.”

blaze groans, “i dont do it on purpose. our fates keep crashing and i keep taking the opportunity to see him. i didn’t think i was going to sleep at his place.”

“what alice is trying to say is, when we woke up and didn’t see you, we got worried. anything could have happened. drunk you could have walked out into the night by yourself,” conner says with a sad sigh.

“whatever. im leaving for this date. bye.”

and then alice leaves. blaze rolls his eyes and goes to shower and get ready. after getting out of the shower, he decides to continue binding anyway. desperate times call for desperate measures. he puts his binder on and changes into what he wears. ripped blue jeans, one of his band tees with a sleeveless jean jacket and his black and white vans. he exits his bedroom and sees conner waiting.

“ready?”

“um, yeah. uh... conner?”

“what’s up babe?”

“uhhhhh so you know how gay is a part of the LGBT?”

“mhm… are you coming out to me as gay? because if so 1) i know honey, and 2) aren’t you interested in steven?”

“what? con, i’m not gay,” enter a laugh, “do you know the T? and the L, and B?”

“um. transexual, lesbian and bisexual?”

“well, T is actually transGENDER. anyway, um. do you know what transgender is?”

“becoming the opposite sex or something.”

“well. to say it up front: i’m not a girl.”

“uh, alright. so you’re just a guy now?”

“basically. steven knows because i wanted to be known as a guy at beach city, which is hard considering you and alice don’t slash didn’t know.”

“alice doesnt know?”

“no…”

“i feel totally honored that you told me and not your longer best friend first. thank you, blair. oh em gee…”

“yep... i also go by blaze instead of blair.”

“your stage name?”

“well, i named my stage name blaze so that no one would, you know. would call me blair.”

“aw, baby. that’s cute. okay, so blaze? and guy pronouns?”

“yes! not around alice though… once she finds out i told jayce first, steven and then you, she’ll be pissed i never told her first. i’d rather wait for that.”

conner’s eyes darken. “you.. told jayceon first?”

“well, yeah. when we were dating. i came out to him sophomore year.”

“how long have you been trans??”

“since eighth grade.. listen. he was my boyfriend and alice and i weren’t friends when i came out. this was when i felt like you were picking alice’s side for everything. please, this isn’t the problem right now. i just don’t want her knowing yet. can you please not tell her?”

conner sighs and hugs blaze tightly. he smiles, “okay, blaze. is steven coming?”

blaze smiles hugely. “he’s gonna meet us there. i can't wait!!!”

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: this might be needed?? just alcohol, drunk texting, hangovers. mentions of a shitty toxic boyfriend.

walking to the boardwalk with conner who now knows his identity, it made blaze feel better. this is the first time his best friend publicly calls him blaze, aside from when he performs shows at his hometown. speaking of performing, blaze hasn’t done it in a while. the last time blaze performed at a venue was a few before he graduated, he called it “the birthday bash”. yeah, it was the weekend before he turned eighteen. quite a few people were there, he gets at most 100 people per performance. this was his best one yet, he finally performed his first song that he wrote. it was about being in love with your abuser.

he snaps out his mind and smiles at the ground. who cares about him. we are in the present now. he notices conner still talking, he feels bad that he forgot what it was about. so he tells him.

“i started daydreaming and i have no idea what you’re talking about, con.”

he laughed and said it didn’t matter. they make it to the arcade and they both see steven. blaze’s heart thumps a lil, but they walk to him casually. he clears his throat.

“steven, this is my best friend, conner. conner, this is my new best friend, steven,” insert giggle.

conner scoffs but reaches forward to shake his hand. steven shakes back, with a semi awkward smile. blaze grins and cheers. then they do their thing at the arcade. blaze checks out all of the games, as well as conner.

“oh, cool! a fortune teller. i wanna get mine done,” conner says, reaching for a quarter. he sets it in the coin dispenser, it does it’s weird machine whirring and then speaks.

“three’s a crowd. your lucky numbers are 64, 21, and 13.”

“wooooow, that’s boring. ugh, blai- uh. blaze. you do it,” conner saves himself from using the wrong name.

“i have before, but i’ll do it again.” he puts the coin slot in, it speaks.

“your future will be different and unexpected. your lucky numbers are 08, 16 and 17.”

???? he got this last time. hold on, let him try that again. he puts another quarter in and let’s the machine do it’s bidding.

“hey, that’s cheating-” conner starts.

“shut up, i got this last time.”

the machine whirrs, you hear the gears and all. it speaks once more.

“your future will be different and unexpected. your lucky numbers are 08, 16 and 17.”

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”

“maybe it’s broken? let steven try.”

steven goes to try as well.

“friends aren’t all you need. focus on yourself. your lucky numbers are 08, 16 and 17.”

steven ignores the fortune and laughs, “guess we have the same numbers! try one more time?”

blaze tries one more time.

“your future will be different and unexpected. your lucky numbers are 08, 16 and 17.”

he sighs. maybe his future is different and unexpected. they pat his back and continue their way through the arcade. they eventually get bored of it so they go to find some food. blaze is craving fries, so steven goes to beach citywalk fries and buys some for all three of them. hours pass of them just walking around and eating and conversations changing. 

“hey steven, have you heard blaze sing yet?”

“conner, no-”

“oh, blaze! you sing?”

“not just that, he’s the whole package! he plays guitar, piano and sings! i think he’s in the middle of teaching himself ukulele. he performs locally at home pretty often!”

“conner, please-”

“hey! i can play too! my dad was a rockstar, so i know a lot from him. the uke was the first instrument i learned. ah, the simpler times. if we stop by my place, you should play something for me,” steven gives a beautiful warm smile that shoots arrows into blaze’s emotions. damn, he getting whipped.

blaze sighs, “alright, i’ll play. i’ll show you the first actual song i wrote but it’s uh… kinda heavy. and i didn’t fully learn it on ukulele yet so...”

“that’s alright, you don’t have to by the way..”

conner smiles. “WELL, let’s go ladies!”

they walk to stevens house, since it’s not a far walk. when they walk in, blaze notices the same gems he saw this morning, but there’s a new one who’s really tall with this cute afro.

“uh, hey guys. this is conner, who is blaze’s friend. and this is uhm, blaze. not sure if there was a real formal introduction earlier. these gems are garnet, amethyst and pearl. i grew up with them, and i love em!”

amethyst was making a sandwich, pearl was texting on her phone and the giant one was sitting on the couch just… vibing. they all wave at the two newbies, they wave back, and then the three and continue what they were doing. steven goes to find his uke and they both stand there awkwardly.

“have you guys seen my ukulele?”

“i think greg has it,” amethyst replies too quickly.

“no. steven, it’s in amethyst’s room,” garnet butts in.

“amethysttt, stop taking my stuff without asking!” steven whines.

“i needed the strings for something but it’s done with soooo you can go to my room and get it.”

steven goes to get it, comes back and guides blaze and conner back out to the beach around the corner. he hands the uke to blaze and they all sit down across from each other. blaze gives a deep sigh and realizes, who cares if he messes up? they’re friends, it’s okay. so he starts.

_it’s been some time now since we have met_

_it’s been some time now since we first kissed_

**(two minutes of a song about toxic ex)**

…

conner and steven frown towards blaze. blaze stares at the sand, shuts his eyes and he realizes he’s been crying. he opens his eyes once more, staring at the sand again and breathes in. he lets go of the ukulele, sets it on the sand and shakes his head roughly side to side and then faces towards the two.

“sorry, i’m not a good song writer. my performances are usually me performing covers, so… songwriting? pbbbt, not into it completely yet,” he smiles widely through everything and then coughs. “steven, you said you sing too right? it’s your turn now.”

steven looks at blaze and replaces his frown with a small smile. he compliments his song, grabs the uke and strums it a bit. and then he says…

“i haven’t played in a long time, i’m not sure if i remember.”

“if not, it’s totally fine!” blaze gives a warm smile.

“yeah! although im one who _gets_ what he wants so think carefully!” conner hops in.

steven chuckles. “i’ll sing a song i sang when i was a kid… forgive the poor lyric choices too. i was… thirteen,” cough, “does length matter?”

“of course not, silly.”

“haha... okay. this is called… be wherever you are.”

_isn’t this such.. a beautiful night, woah._

_we’re underneath a thousand shining stars…._

_(_ [ _https://youtu.be/HKaDsrsqGig_ ](https://youtu.be/HKaDsrsqGig) _if interested in the full song.)_

steven smiles and sets the uke down. he hasn't played that song in three years and it makes him remember the days when everything wasn’t super hard and dark. blaze claps for steven, leaving him shy and confused on why he’s being applauded. singing used to be normal for him and now, he hasn’t done it since spinel. spinel... pink diamond. rose… mom. mom??? 

“steven, woah. you’re uh… you’re glowing pink,” conner says, “i’ve never seen someone glow before.”

“oh, uh. s-sorry, i was thinking of something..”

“steven is half gem alien and half human. he’s the only human you’ll see glow. unless you’re alice with a bunch of highlights on your face,” blaze giggles and conner holds back a laugh.

“speak of the devil, she’s calling me right now. i’ll be right back,” conner says.

conner gets up and moves away from the two, far enough where they can’t hear the conversation. steven’s pink slowly fades back to normal and blaze stares at him while he looks off in a possible daydream or doze. blaze takes this time to point out some features of him.

he looks at how his hair curls, how his skin is taken care of with no acne or problems. how his pink letterman jacket fits perfectly on him, a little loose even. the mini bags under his eyes when he looks stressed, clearly like he does right now-

“blaze?”

“huh?”

“conner’s calling for you.”

“ah,” he blushes. dammit conner, can blaze just stare at the cute guy in peace?

he gets up and walks to conner, and conner says that alice is back home with more booze. blaze chuckles and drags him back to steven.

“hey, uh. we’re gonna go back home. alice brought more alcohol and uh… yeah,” blaze starts.

“no, no it’s fine! you guys have fun. if you guys want to come over anytime, just let me know,” he gives his phone to conner to put his number in. “thank you guys for inviting me, it felt nice to meet a new person. do you guys want a lift?”

blaze looks at conner and he shakes his head no. he likes walking. blaze smiles and says no to steven, giving him a hug before turning to leave. he waves at him telling him he’ll text him when they get to the beach house and to possibly expect some drunken texts. steven laughs and waves bye. they seperate their ways.

blaze and conner walk to the house, walking in on an already drunk alice. blaze rolls his eyes and rushes to his bedroom to shove this shitty binder off. his ribs and back really hurt. he takes it off and changes into something comfortable and then he goes back out to conner and alice. conner is pouring some shots for him and blaze, while alice starts talking and getting angry at blaze again. blaze sighs and ignores her, taking the shot. and a few more. we know what happens next.

**blaze 7:36 PM: yo steeevennnnn**

**blaze 7:37 PM: i told u i wus gonns drunk tiextttt lmao**

**blaze 7:40 PM: idk if u noticed and i hope not but i kpt staring at u earlier ur so cute lolol**

**blaze 7:52 PM: r u busy )))): im srry im spam txting u im bored n totally not sober**

**steven 8:00 PM: Sorry! I was watching a movie with Amethyst. Just ended actually.**

**steven 8:01 PM: I um, didn’t notice that but uh. Thanks :)**

**blaze 8:06 PM: today was a great day. thx for coming with us. i like your singing, steevn. u should sing more**

**steven 8:08 PM: Thank you, heh. You sing amazing too! If you need help with songwriting, you can come to me. Pearl might be able to help too. Maybe we can duet one day.**

**blaze 8:10 PM: a duet huh. id like that(:**

**steven 8:11 PM: :)**

**steven 8:15 PM: I’m gonna head off to bed. I hope you sleep well. Drink lots of water, stay hydrated before and after your hangover.**

**blaze 8:16 PM: goodnight steven. ill see u tmrrw?**

**steven 8:17 PM: Probably. Goodnight, Blaze.**

**blaze 8:17 PM: ♡**

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so idk how to write a song so I didn't even bother trying and just wrote (two minutes of song) LMAO


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so mentions of cheating, a transphobic slur, a bit of alcohol abuse. sad drunk boy

sunday comes and passes. blaze doesn’t realize it, but they’ve only been there for three days. blaze made a new friend and gained a super tiny maybe baby crush in only three days?? he’s crazy for that. so a summary of sunday morning: all three of them woke up with hangovers. blaze woke up and left his bedroom to an empty living room. he walked towards the fridge to drink water and find some breakfast. the next one out is alice, who groans very loudly. she also goes towards the fridge to grab a water bottle and a box of cereal. then conner exits his bedroom and leans on the kitchen island with a whine. they find their food, sit at the dinner table and all eat their own breakfast.

after that, around noon time, alice says she has another date with this adult dude and might try to get some more booze from him. it’s clear that she is dating him for the alcohol. before she leaves, she tells blaze they need to have a talk. conner leaves the table to his room again and it leaves blaze and alice alone.

“blair. are you avoiding me? do you just not want to hang with me anymore? talk to me... you’re my best friend.”

blaze looks away but replies, “i’m not avoiding you. i came here with you guys, to spend time with guys but we are our own people, remember that. i wanna spend time with steven during these two weeks but for the most part, i’m with you guys. we’ve been here for a few days, and we have another sixteen days. let me do me. i just hate it when you get mad over the littlest thing, alice.”

they come to a compromise that blaze will let steven know. every other day, spend the day with steven and every other night, spend with them. like sunday afternoon will be with the besties and at night with steven, and then monday spend the day with steven if he is available and the night with the gang.

so for the rest of the day, blaze spent the day with conner and alice until she leaves to her date once more. when she leaves, conner and blaze order delivery of pizza and decide to take a lazy sunday. make some cupcakes, watch a few movies, play mario kart. blaze then realized in the middle of making cupcakes that he hasn’t talked to steven all day and it’s already PM. he checks his phone and sees a few messages.

**steven at 2:30 PM: Hey, Blaze. Did you want to hang out today?**

**steven at 2:32 PM: If not, it’s fine! It’s a Sunday, I feel like it’s a lazy one.**

**alice at 2:45 PM: hey blair what liquor do u want**

blaze responds to alice saying he doesn’t want to drink tonight but to ask conner. blaze responds to steven apologizing for a kinda late response and says they can hang out at around 5 or 6 since he’s spending the day with conner. steven understands and tells him to have fun. so blaze continues to make cupcakes with conner. they make messes then leave them on the kitchen island and watch some movies and play the game. the time is around 4:30 and alice returns from her date. she looks worn out and says she doesn’t want to go on another date with this guy because he got annoying. and to double lock up at night because he might be obsessive. she apologizes to conner for not bringing back any alcohol.

it’s finally 5:00 and blaze texts steven saying he’s available. steven picks him up from the beach house, they drive around for a while talking about who knows what and who knows where. they drive around for literally 2 hours! they make it back to beach city at almost half past 7. steven drives to a forest type area and they park there, and steven starts rambling about how the stars are so noticeable even if it’s still kind of bright outside and how he’s been to space numerous times. he’s like a happy kid, smiling like crazy talking about the things he’s passionate for. eventually, he feels like he’s just non-stop talking so he lays back on the trunk of the car next to blaze. he asks blaze about his life back in new jersey, cautiously since he knows his life included his ex bf.

“oh, well um. i grew up there, birth to now basically. i’ve lived with both my parents up until i was sixteen. they kicked me out because i was with my ex boyfriend and wouldn’t break up with him. so i moved in with him for two years. when i turned eighteen, i started to move stuff out because i bought a small studio apartment. i became a singer around thirteen, but my ex helped me become a constant performer at the local venue in my hometown when i moved in. oh, alice and i became friends in seventh grade! we met conner in eighth grade and he joined our best friend group…”

steven smiles and listens to each word he says. they are just straight up enjoying each other’s company. and that’s how it was for the next couple days. they got to see each other every other day and every other night. then the one week mark of blaze, conner and alice being in beach city comes, and someone makes a slip up.

blaze is spending thursday night with steven since he did his time with his friends. they took shots that alice ended up getting because she and the adult dude started talking again, so blaze is a little woozy but it started to wear off by the water and because they did it at 2 PM and it’s now 6. they’ve both gotten a bit more… affectionate over the last couple days. they hold hands now! so they’re both holding hands, taking a nice nature walk. then blaze’s phone starts vibrating like crazy.

**conner 6:08 PM: Okay, um. Blaze. I slipped up.**

**conner 6:10 PM: When you left, Alice and I took like three more shots and I slipped up and called you Blaze to her face. She was confused and asked why I called you Blaze, and considering the fact I am more than tipsy right now, I told her you go by that name and are trans.**

**conner 6:11 PM: And so she got upset at the fact that I know, and she didn’t. Then I told her Steven knew, and she got angry. She asked who else knew… i told her.**

**alice 6:12 PM: Get your fucking ass to the beach house right now.**

oh boy. alice knows. she’s pissed. ohfuckohfuckohfuck. blaze sighs and let’s go of steven’s hand, clutching his shirt a little.

“steven... you gotta take me to the beach house.”

“did something happen? it hasn’t even been over an hour since we got her-”

“steven, please.”

they take lion back to the beach house. blaze kisses steven’s cheek and walks to the door. he takes a big fat inhale, and a big exhale, then enters the house. there is already yelling.

“oh, it looks like the TRANNY has arrived, huh?”

“ex... excuse me? did you just call me a tranny?”

“so you tell your toxic ex boyfriend before you tell your best friend, hm?”

“ok, listen before you start making accusations.”

“no, like? this is a big deal for me right now! this is a big secret, and you really kept this from me? for YEARS? why wasn't **_I_ ** first?”

“when i came out to jayce, we weren’t talking. i felt ready to come out but i didn’t know who to go to except my boyfriend at the time. i came out to him sophomore year, and i was too scared to come out to conner since i felt like he was on your side about everything so we weren’t talking that much. can’t you just- LISTEN TO ME?”

“since we’re telling secrets now, maybe i should mention a good ol’ time in october senior year,” alice starts.

“what... happened in senior year?”

“your sweet toxic boyfriend had a little affair with someone, and that someone? **was me.** ”

“alice, what the hell?” conner pipes in and then immediately looks at blaze, seeing the look of confusion, shock and hurt on his face.

“what are… you.. talking about..?”

“jayceon had called me up and said you guys got into a silly argument, and i told him you had pissed me off that day. he asked to meet up while you were at conner’s place doing school shit and we.. had a little fun,” alice gives off this gross evil smirk. conner is staring at her in disgust, showing this is the first time he’s heard of this.

blaze starts to breathe heavily. like REALLY heavily. he looks around as if he’s looking for help, but he doesn’t know what to look for. he spots his eyes on the ceiling lights, but he can’t get the thought out of his head. his best friend… and his ex lover… together… why? why? he looks at conner, and he’s saying something but he doesn’t know if it’s to him or alice. he can’t hear him anyway. he can’t hear anyone, just his thoughts. he doesn’t know what to do… so he does the first thing that comes into mind. he grabs a half full bottle of alcohol, and runs out the door, running to who knows where. as long as it was away from the beach house.

at around 7:30, steven is at his house, laying on the couch playing some iphone games. he then gets a phone call.

“hey, blaze! is everything okay-”

“steevennnn!!! oh, oops haha am i loud?”

“um.. blaze? are you.. drunk?”

“yeppp! i’m also somewhere in the woods somewhere. oh, i said somewhere twice!!”

“WHAT? where are you, i’ll come get you? why are you in the woods?”

“meh, arguments. needed alone time. ooooh, big buff orange lady! is she a gem?”

“big buff orange.. jasper! blaze, don’t go near her! i’ll be there soon!”

the call drops, steven calls for lion and grabs a few water bottles. he rides to the woods where he remembers jasper being at and he spots blaze, holding an almost empty bottle of alcohol and sitting on the ground across from a very annoyed jasper.

“jasper! i am so so sorry-”

“steeeevenn! hiiiiii! i was interacting with this gem! she seems bored and angry, but maybe i’m just paranoid! haha!!” blaze chirps, in the most slurred voice.

steven grabs blaze with his super steven strength and puts him on his shoulder. he frantically apologizes to jasper and blaze giggles a lot, still holding the bottle but steven doesn’t notice. jasper mumbles how “the human seemed vulnerable and fake happy that she felt weirded out and annoyed that a human was there in the first place.” steven walks to lion and he hops on with blaze. blaze asks if they can stay in the outdoors so steven makes lion go to the beach outside his house.

they get there and he sets blaze on the sand. he finally notices the alcohol bottle, grabs it and runs back to the house to get a couple blankets and pillows. he tosses the bottle at amethyst and tells her to do something with it. she eats it. he returns with the stuff to see blaze giggling on the sand, petting lion. steven, concerned, sets the blanket down and the pillow, lays down and taps the spot next to him for blaze. he lays on his chest instead, gaining a huge blush from steven.

“blaze... what happened? why were you drinking in the woods?”

“i can do whateverrrr! i’m a REBEL!”

“no, blaze. garnet, amethyst and pearl are rebels. what’s wrong?”

“i’m fine steve-ooooo. just completely vibing, bro.”

steven sighs, “blaze… you know that if we are gonna.. you know.. further this relationship.. i can’t have you drinking like this. not constantly. it’s bad.”

“yeah... i lied and said i wasn’t a persistent drinker but i drink whenever there’s alcohol. i’m sorry, but when you have shitty friends and a shitty ex boyfriend, i need something to release pain.”

“blaze... i’m almost seventeen. i’m still a kid. i don’t want to be around the whole aura of drinking so much. you’re underage, too so you shouldn’t either way.”

“... alright. that’ll be my last time for a while…”

steven moves his hand and starts caressing blaze’s hair, until he feels something wet on his shirt.

“b-blaze? are you crying? what’s wrong?”

blaze is in full drunk breakdown mode. he clutches steven’s shirt, breathing heavily and sniffling a lot, “he cheated on me with alice… he cheated on me with alice! he cheated on me with alice!” and he just keeps repeating that, over and over for a literal five minutes, until he finally falls asleep.

steven plays with his hair once more, letting out a huge breath. and they were there until midnight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so i just remembered that steven is still 16 in the current episodes. which means that he is 16 even during the episode snow day. so he is still a vegetarian- LMAO. so some things have been changed, this is now taken after snow day instead of before. SO i know he's about to turn 17 in this story so im like ughhh why did we have to assume he turned 17 because of the snowwwww it kind of throws off the vibe i was going for in the story :( but it's whatever, i'm keeping it like that. he's also still a vegetarian. also, i should point out that i know the first ten chapters may be seem like they're slow. that's what im going for! im hoping that the next ten wont be as slow, which leads to me saying that i am not sure how many chapters im going for. minimum is twenty, at most thirty? i hope i wont go that high. anyway, ive said enough LOL enjoy

blaze open his eyes to the sound of the waves. he looks up to see an awake steven.

“steven..? are we at the beach? what time is it?”

“mhm. you fell asleep and it’s a little after midnight.”

blaze feels the dry tears on his face, “how long was i crying?”

“about five minutes or so, then you knocked out.”

blaze gets embarrassed and hides his face into steven’s shirt.

“um.. so i talked to conner on the phone,” steven throws out.

“oh.”

“yeah, he uh. told me everything. first, he said he is really really sorry for outing you. he also said he is cutting his part of the vacation and is going back to jersey. he packed his clothes and all ready, and said he wanted lion and i to take him home. i think he’ll tell you all this later today.”

“hold on, what?? we’re leaving beach city?”

“well, not exactly? he’s leaving.”

“ **_he’s leaving me in beach city?_ ** ”

“blaze- please, lemme speak. he asked if you could stay here until the vacation ends, or until you want to go back home… and i said of course!

“huh?”

“so uh, you’re kind of moving in with me!”

“w-woah, isn’t that moving a bit too fast?”

“well, you’re not  _ exactly _ moving in, but more like a daily sleepover until you want to go back home and or come back here! vacation was limited because the beach house was rented, but now you can just be here however as long! you could ask to go home whenever you need space, i’ll just have lion take you!”

blaze thinks about it. getting away from alice, spending more time with the guy you’re “slowly” starting to like, and going home whenever you feel jersey sick. not gonna lie, doesn’t sound so bad. blaze nods in agreement and lays back down on his chest, getting comfortable.

“okay. but since it’s midnight, i am going right back to sleep on your chest.” and steven joins him to sleep.

when they wake up, it’s around 11 am. they wake up to the sound of steven’s phone ringing. blaze snuggles into steven more, resulting in steven making a satisfied sigh and to squeeze him a tad bit tighter. he reaches for his phone with his other hand and answers the call.

“hey, steven. is blaze awake?”

steven says no and neither was he. he then asks who this is, the other line says it's conner and that he has their stuff packed and ready to leave. steven says to give them a couple minutes since they just woke up. call ends, and steven nudges blaze to wake up. he rolls off stevens chest and groans. they both get up, stretch and look at each other while chuckling. blaze gives off a sullen look a few seconds after and sighs.

“are you sure you want me to like, you know.. stay here? is that healthy for our current status? we’re not in a relationship, a-and i don't know how you are sleeping in a bed… with a, uh.. you know. a dude, but not a real dude.”

“you are a dude, though.”

“okay, lemme rephrase that. i don't know if you're comfortable sharing a bed with a female.”

“oh, connie and i have had sleepovers! we shared a bed once!”

“... connie? you slept… in the same bed.. as your  _ girl best friend _ ?”

“well, only best friend but uh. yeah, when we went to space to make amends with white diamond, we took a nap together. we’ve had plenty of other sleepovers too! is that- is that bad?”

“no! no, not at all. it just.. has me thinking. it's nothing! let’s go to the beach house and get my bags and stuff.”

they got on lion who stood with them the whole night and rode to the house. blaze ushers steven to stay outside and he walks in to find conner. conner is on the couch with a deadpan face until he sees blaze. he spots him, gets up and hugs him immediately and tight. he hugs back, happy to see him.

“where's the witch?”

“not home. she didn't wanna be here to see you or me leave so she left for a walk. we should leave before she comes back,” conner rolls his eyes, scoffs at the house and makes way to the door.

blaze grabs his stuff from the couch and walks to the door as well, exiting the house. he hands his stuff to steven to put in lion's mane. steven hops onto the front of lion, then conner, and then blaze. conner gives steven the location, and then on they go to new jersey. they make it to where conner lives in literally five minutes and conner was not expecting this ride at all. they all hop off except steven, and blaze walks him to his door through the long walkway. conner still lives with his parents considering he turn eighteen in january, but it's a kind of home in the… rich neighborhood. conner goes to hug blaze, but the door opens up with someone trying to leave. it’s conner’s mother.

“oh sh- oh! hello blaze! you guys back so soon from vacation?”

blaze goes wide eyed and responds, “y-yeah. it's a situation conner can explain. my friend just dropped him off and i'm going back to his house.”

“oh okay! is that why i see a boy in the street with a giant pink cat?”

“... yes.”

conner laughs and gives his mom a kiss on the cheek before she leaves. blazes lunches his arm when she walks past and questions why she called him blaze and not.. the other name, and he explained that he called his mother and told her and his father. blaze starts to tear up and gives conner a huge hug. they hold each other tight, before letting go and blaze walking back to steven to hop on lion. steven waves at him before they leave. in the midst of them riding home, taking a longer way, steven asks if there's anywhere in jersey to stop by before they head to his place. blaze says nah and that he just wants to finish his vacation before he decides to go home back to his apartment. they pass by an old worn out sign in blaze’s hometown that said “the birthday bash! come join our one and only blaze for a great birthday concert! $7 cover charge. free event!” steven remembers that blaze is a performer and smiles into it.

they make it back to beach city. they get back to steven's house, entering from stevens window door, and steven grabs blaze’s bags from lion’s mane and sets it in his room.

“steven? are you home?” a soft voice with a giggle echoes from the kitchen. blaze recognizes it as pearl.

“yeah, with blaze! some uh, arrangements have happened and blaze is moving in for a week or so, alright?” steven hollers back.

some mumbling goes on and pearl calls for him to come down. steven shrugs and goes down real quick to see what's up. he sees pearl, but then sees ruby and sapphire. steven waves and smiles at them, but asks what's up to the three. they have a talk about blaze moving in all of a sudden. blaze is just sitting on the bed, trying not to listen in. steven arrives back in his room and gives him a thumbs up.

“they were just asking why and what’s been going on. they also asked why i had an alcohol bottle when i threw it at amethyst,” steven laughs softly.

“oh geez, i’m sorry steven. i’m so sorry if i caused any trouble.”

“haha blaze, it’s alright-”

“hey, stevennn! can you come down again? you can bring blaze, you don’t have to leave them alone!” pearl calls once more.

steven smiles at blaze and walks down, blaze following behind. they get downstairs and stand near the stairs where the three gems are on the couch. ruby and sapphire next to each other and pearl at the end of the couch.

“whats up now, guys?”

“so, as you may know.. some gems at little homeschool are graduating soon. we need to set up a date and when to buy decorations! blaze, would you like to help us set up?” pearl asks.

“oh, i would like to!” blaze smiles.

“that’s good. you and steven can get the cake, food and any other snacks, pearl will be setting up the stage and the dance floor with ruby, and amethyst and i will be setting up tables, lights and balloons. is that okay for you all? we will also see if sadie killer & the suspects can play a show,” sapphire speaks out, pretty quickly. steven gives a thumbs up again with his half bean smile. blaze just smiles and hopes to catch up on what to do another time.

the couple fuse together again, leaving blaze in awe. he hasn’t seen a fusion fuse in person before so he stares in shock, loving what just happened. steven remembers something, blaze is a performer! maybe he can perform! he starts to mention it.

“wait, guys! blaze is a performer, why don't we get him to perform too, maybe as an opening act for sadie killer!”

blaze chokes on air, “woah, steven! where did this come from? why would you want me to perform at a graduation?”

“it gives people in beach city a taste of how you perform and sing, and after that we can set up a huge show for you to perform a show here!” steven gives a genuine smile.

“i-i mean, i don't mind. it was just so sudden and i don't have the clothes i normally wear to my performances. and i always go all out for my performances and i feel like it might be weird doing a performance that no one will be expecting-”

“blaze. it will be okay. you can open for them. pearl, when you ask them, let them know they have an opening act,” garnet says.

pearl nods, leaving blaze kind of red faced of embarrassment. he hasn’t performed since his birthday performance and he isn’t sure he’s ready. the four of them talk a little more about when it could be for about another hour and a half. they decide the graduation can be next wednesday. that gives tomorrow and sunday the time to get the supplies and necessities, and they can set up everything tuesday night and wednesday morning. perfect! they have everything planned. blaze now doesn’t know what to perform or how. so when they finish and the gems go do what they do, steven goes to take a shower while blaze goes into steven’s now shared bedroom and grabs his phone from the bed and texts conner. 

**blaze 2:21 PM: hey boo so im opening for a band here for some of the gems graduation and idk how to keep it normal since its a graduation**

**conner 2:27 PM: Girrrrrl (or boyyyyy), facetime me rn! Let’s talk about it.**

so they call for about half an hour talking about it, and then fifteen minutes later, steven comes to his room from his shower. he’s in his blue jeans and black shirt. he sees blaze on the phone. blaze notices him come in and tells conner that steven is there.

“yo, steven! what is sadie killer & the suspects’ music like? so we know what songs blaze should perform,” conner says from blaze’s phone.

“oh, hey conner! sadie killer honestly is a mixture of music. they’re normally a rock band, but they play anything! honestly, they’re a great band! i can play some songs if you guys would like-”

“uh, just send me their songs? they have a tubetube page, right?”

“y-yeah, they do. also, are you like blaze’s manager?” steven chuckles and smiles.

“hey, hey! that’s none of ya business!... alright, i’ll make a small list of songs you can possibly play. i won’t make it too long, maybe about four songs? three?”

“at most five, we’ll find out soon,” blaze responds.

“alright, boo. i’ll keep you updated, as your  _ manager _ , and keep me updated as my client,” he laughs as well as steven and blaze.

and so the weekend passes, the gems buy what they, blaze orders the cake from lar’s bakery (he finally meets the one and only lars who steven brought back to life), steven goes to buy chips, dip, candies, soda, etc., and decided to wait until the day of the celebration to order the pizza. sunday, blaze contacts conner again; he’s to perform only three songs, which saddens blaze but it is a starter. monday comes and goes. while steven is at little homeschool teaching and running classes with the gems who aren’t graduating, blaze is out on the beach with amethyst and pearl to practice his three song performance. it’s been a while since he’s performed, heck since he’s even full out belted a song. so he practices with the two, getting more advice from amethyst’s rebellious personality than pearl’s elegance. tuesday, everyone sets up the stage during the noon. blaze asks steven to take him home real quick so he can switch his clothes and get his outfit for tomorrow. for a three song performance, he and steven are making this a huge deal.

it’s finally wednesday, they wake up at 12:30 PM to get ready for the day. steven tells blaze he’s leaving early to collect the cake and to set up everything, else such as the food and all. so steven goes to shower, and get ready for his day. blaze finally gets up about an hour after steven leaves. when he gets up to shower, he texts conner. he wishes him luck and he gets in the bathroom to get ready. mid shower, yes he was on his phone, he gets a phone call from steven.

**Incoming call from S.U.🥰🌟**

“hey, i’m kinda in the middle of-” blaze starts.

“hey! i know, you’re probably in the shower. but um, i’m a little upset about something. i just wanna hear someone say this… it’s alright if i dont… you know. have a purpose? like, is it okay if i don’t know where i’m going with my life? i saved the universe, now it’s time to move on, but... move on to what?”

“steven. i just graduated high school, i don’t even know what i want. i don’t know if i want to go to college, or what i want to be. you had a purpose, you saved the world and galaxy. i... just went to school. regardless, we both are kind of on the same page. you are over there getting ready for the graduation and i’m literally in the shower getting ready to perform at a graduation. it’s okay to feel like that, buddy. just know that even though you might feel like you can’t move on or where you’re going, just remember that i’m here. and someone understands. okay?”

“okay. thank you, blaze.”

“no problem, steven. okay, my phone is getting wet so imma go. i’ll see you soon.”

little did blaze know, steven was feeling a little more than down about having no purpose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. sorry if there's any errors.
> 
> P.P.S the show ends this Friday. im not ready. im not emotionally ready. im not mentally ready. my emotional and mental attachment to steven is literally crying rn and idk how to cope with this finale. if anyone wants to talk about the show with me, hmu on Instagram @blaze.may or my spam @blazesdump. or my discord which is blaze#5255. id love to talk to some of yall about it :)
> 
> P.P.S.S. DID YOU GUYS WATCH HOMEWORLD BOUND AAAAAAAAAA. ok bye


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sad mini rant at end notes abt the show ending, u can ignore it if u want LOL

it’s around the time of graduation. steven is going around, making sure everything is good and well. he sees the off colors in their cute caps and he gives a soft smile. he’s happy to see them graduating. he looks around once more, now to find his roommate. he could use a buddy right now.

“uh, hey steven. do you… think i'm overdressed?”

steven smiles lightly and turns around to the sound of his voice. his eyes wander and lands on blaze, dressed in black ripped jeans, steven’s black shirt with the yellow star, and a black denim jacket. steven’s eyes that were landed on blaze now looks up and down two times, and he blushes a light pink. he makes sounds from his mouth, obviously unable to form a coherent sentence.

“dang it, i knew i was overdressed. everyone here is so casual and i look like an edgy teenager. i don't even know anyone here except you. lars doesn't even count, i met him once! i don't think i can do this, steven-” blaze starts to panic, then being stopped by steven who grabs his shoulders and looks him in the eye.

“blaze. who cares about how you dressed? who cares what  **anyone** thinks? you do you! never be scared about what others think of you. you're dressed handsomely, i was just in a loss of words… my shirt looks good on you… better on you than me, even. it’s not too big?”

blaze smiles and blushes, “it’s just my size.”

they stare at each other for a second, just smiling and cute blushes. then blaze coughs and looks away, telling him that he has to start the ceremony. steven realizes, and then walks up to the stage to “congraduate” the gems. after he does that, he gets to meet sadie and her new partner, shep. he introduces blaze to them both, then walking away leaving blaze to interact with them both. blaze and shep interacted more, having things in common such as being a POC in the LGBT+ community.

blaze mentions to sadie that he's “opening act” and he's nervous since this city is still foreign and he doesn't know anyone here like that and sadie gives him advice. just things like how everyone in beach city are too kind and respectful, his performance will be outstanding and people will enjoy it. steven returns, grabbing blaze’s hand on instinct (blaze realized, and fanboyed inside lowkey), and leads him to the stage to perform his three songs.

“may i have your attention everyone? our first performance before uh, sadie and shep, is a good friend i met not too long ago, blaze! he has three songs and is nervous to perform for you guys, so give him your full undivided attention and wish him luck! he is also a popular performer in his hometown, so if you guys enjoy this: i plan something huge soon! anyway, enough talking. enjoy!” he tightens his grip on blaze’s hand before hopping off stage.

blaze looks at the small crowd of people. small crowds make him anxious. he’s not used to a small group of people, he’s used to large groups. small groups mean gossip and negative opinions go around quickly and are easily heard. he looks at steven, he gives him a thumbs up and a smile, and he inhales and lets out his breath. and then speaks in the microphone.

“hey, i’m blaze. uh, i normally sing covers so that's what i'll be doing here. i tried not to go too extra since it's just a graduation, but… um. yeah. this song is called…”

three songs later of him singing in a shaky voice from fear and overall just trying not to be extra, he finally finished and was practically so embarrassed that he scurried off stage to the food table to eat some cake. steven rushed to him, telling him that he did amazing and he loved it. blaze is so embarrassed he just shoved forkfuls of cake into his mouth while smiling with his mouth closed. steven chuckles and walks back to the audience to see sadie and shep perform their song. blaze from a distance sees them, and thinks  **wow, my performance does seem heavily different from this sound and now i am more embarrassed** . blaze walks towards steven so he can see the performance better, with his cake of course, but sees steven walking after lars anxiously. he starts to make it closer to steven, goes to put a hand on his shoulder to calm him down, but he yells and then starts to glow pink and he pulls his hand away quickly. then everything went down so fast.

suddenly there was a pink dome around all of them, everyone including blaze being confused. blaze has lived a normal life, minus the toxic ex and bad friendships, but blaze has never witnessed gem-like issues like beach city has, so all of this is new to him.

“s-steven? what's going-” he starts to speak, but lars yells for steven to get rid of it.

after a few minutes of a confrontation between steven, lars and sadie, steven gets embarrassed himself and realizes he created a problem. blaze walks to him, holds his hand and says that it's okay, and to just apologize. he looks down, and back up to apologize to all of them but then the dome starts to close in.

“steven, wanna get rid of this dome already?” jenny, one of the cool kids as blaze learned, starts to freak out.

“uh, okay! i can control this! i just gotta think REAL hard…” steven blurts out.

blaze’s anxiety peaked, and he’s joining the others trying to keep it from closing even though he knows it won't work. after several minutes of everyone trying to calm steven and let him know they'll always be his friends, they finally escape. the dome collapses itself back inside steven’s gem, everyone then leaving. blaze sits on the sand in complete and utter confusion and fear, then sees steven talking to lars with a long hug. after he walks away, steven turns around and sees blaze sitting on the sand, now calm. he smiles slightly and sits next to him.

“i’m sorry about that, blaze. it’s not always like this. also, i’m going to quit running little homeschool. graduations… just aren't my thing.”

“they're hard, steven. you see people you care about leave, and sometimes they never contact you ever again.. but steven, i know this isn't like that. i can physically see everyone here cares about you, they  _ will _ continue to see you and care for you. don't worry too much about it.”

steven sighs and leans his head on blaze’s shoulder, “yeah. i'll try. do you wanna grab some pizza and go somewhere? i feel like i need to listen to sadie and shep’s song while eating pizza on the roof of my car and looking at the stars. too edgy?” he laughs a lil.

blaze giggles, “sounds perfect.”

a couple more days pass, leading it to be friday. blaze asks steven to take him home, as he starts to feel homesick and also has to do some laundry. steven and blaze ride lion to his apartment, him then showing steven around the small studio apartment. he loves it here! he would love to spend a couple nights here with blaze, but blaze needs his space now and he understands. blaze still wants him to hang out with him today though. so they plan a little schedule for coming home and going back to steven’s home.

“so, i was thinking. what about if i spend every other week here and then at your place? but you also clearly like my home, so i thought; maybe i go to your home for a few days, then i go back home for a few more. then you come here for a few, then you go back home and we rotate! but then i realized that that's a lot of moving around for one week or two. so how about this: monday to friday: i spend with you, at your home and then the week after my home. weekends i’ll be here myself, to spend some alone time. is… is that an okay plan?”

“blaze, i think it's practically genius. and if you ever need alone time sometime during the week, i am more than willing for let you go home early. don't think i'm forcing you to stay with me,” steven smiles, laying on blaze’s super comfy bed with his feet towards the floor (he’s too short to reach it).

blaze smiles, lying next to him. he turns to his side, wraps one arm around steven’s waists and cuddles into his neck. they both lie there, in silence and they end up taking a nap together. at some point during the first hour of their nap, they moved up onto blaze’s pillows to be more comfortable. blaze laid his head on steven’s chest and put his arm over steven’s body once more and held his hand. steven wrapped his free hand around blaze’s waist, and they fell back asleep into their nap. not surprisingly, the nap took up most of their day.

they woke up a little after 7 pm, steven waking up first. he started to lightly push blaze to wake up, which took more than a few pushes. blaze woke up, not surprised that the sun was starting to set. they seperate themselves, and stretch. blaze walks steven to the front door, lion laying on the floor next to it. they hug each other, with a tight squeeze. then stare at each other for a second, knowing what they want but both afraid to make moves. so they laugh together with little blushes. blaze kisses his cheek however, making a slight move. then steven’s phone rings, kinda ruining the mood.

“okay, that's my cue to leave, i assume. i’ll text you after this call! i’ll see you monday,” he kisses his hand and blows it to blaze (in which he catches it) and turns around to answer his phone. “hey, connie! it’s been a while, whats up?” lion licks blaze’s leg and then walks away towards steven.

blaze closes the door, locks it and walks to the couch. he should probably do something productive like laundry, or dishes since they've been then for two weeks untouched. so he does both. he realizes quickly that since he doesn't have an actual job, he has nothing to do around home. especially without steven, or alice or conner. alice normally would've been there all ready to hang… being home reminds him too much of alice and jayce. but he needs to learn how to remove toxic people from a place that isn't toxic for him. he checks the time again, a quarter until 8. so he throws on more something comfortable yet appealing and takes a walk around the neighborhood to get his mind off some things. he walks to the nearest park, swings on the swing set and walks the trail. he spends good half hour at the park, the returns home at almost 9 o'clock. he gets in, opens a cabinet in the kitchen and makes cup noodles. he turns on the TV in the “living room” area and plays his favorite cartoon. he grabs his noodles, sits on the couch, and watches whatever plays after. he receives a text from steven saying goodnight and he responds, then turning back to the tv which helps him go to sleep.

blaze wakes up to the sound of a light rain. ugh, he wanted to go food shopping with his leftover money he got from his ex when they had a joint bank account. he took his money out from his performances and made his own bank account. he spent a lot to get a cheap but very satisfying apartment (it may be a studio apartment with no bedroom, but he’s got a nice backyard that he could throw cookouts if he wanted to), but he has a couple hundred left and he wanted to go food shopping. he really should look for a real job... so he texts his good ol’ “manager” conner asking if there's any venues nearby looking for a performer because he needs $$$. nothing's available right now, but around august there should be open spots.

the rest of the day, he texts conner and then steven calls and they video chat for an hour. saturday passes like nothing, but sunday was a drama filled day. it starts off great with a text from steven saying good morning. it's a bright and shiny summer morning, no rain like the day prior. he goes food shopping like he wanted to, but as he was shopping he ended up crashing into his ex. well… not crashing into, but he saw him from a distance talking to a worker about something. he spotted jayce, panicked and moved aisles with his shopping cart quickly. when he went to pay for his stuff and was leaving with his bags to walk home, he saw him from a distance again walking. he panicked again, putting his sunglasses on and started to walk past him, hopefully to be unnoticed.

“blaze?”

nope nope nope keep walking, if you don't react to your name then he will think it's the wrong person.

“blaze, i know it's you. you know i'm not stupid.”

god, is he following him? just keep walking, ignore the man… or will that prove that you're ignoring him? shit what should he do?

“it was nice to see you're still well.”

his voice sounded distant, maybe he stopped walking after him. he hopes he didn't follow him to his home because the last thing he needed in his life is his ex finding out where he live, it's bad enough alice knows. so that was the start of the drama filled day. after an hour of walking home with small bags of groceries and filling his cabinets with them, he gets a text from steven with a picture of him and a cactus…? and it looks like him? steven captioned it “say hello to my new friend, cactus steven!” blaze giggles and tells him that it's cute. the day goes on, he gets another text from steven talking about how the cactus is repeating his words but they’re mean and it's messing with him.

**blaze 6:12 PM: steven, it’s repeating u. if ur saying negative things and it's repeating it and ur taking offense to it, maybe u should make it say positive things. be cheerful steven, i don't want u hurt. ):**

**steven 6:15 PM: Yeah, I guess.**

**steven 6:19 PM: I hope you've eaten today. Miss you <33 It’s been lonely without you. Is it safe to say that?**

**blaze 6:22 PM: yeah. it's been lonely over here also. i saw my ex while grocery shopping for food lol story for another time**

**steven 6:24 PM: Eugh. Gross, sorry to hear that. ): < I’m gonna eat dinner, I’ll text you after. If you want to come back early, you can. Not forcing you to, though! **

**blaze 6:26 PM: lol ok <3 go eat**

**steven 6:27 PM: <33**

an hour or so passes, they text each other their goodnights and blaze just lays in bed. he can't stop thinking of jayce. it's been about a month since he left, all the love and heartbreak came right back down and punched him hard in the jaw. sometimes he just thinks how it would've been if he never became toxic, but. blaze likes steven and he wants this to work. so he’s glad he did because he wouldn't have met steven if it wasn't for jayce. UGH, this is causing a migraine. he takes a painkiller and goes back to what he did the night before: watch tv until he passes out.

at around the dawn of morning, blaze gets a phone call. it's a monday morning and his phone keeps vibrating. he thinks it's his alarm at first, hence why he shut it off twice already but wasn't sure why it was going off a minute later instead of snoozing for longer, and so he forces himself awake and checks his phone. it's… pearl? why is pearl calling at 6 AM?

“he-hello?”

“oh! hello, blaze. it's pearl! if you couldn't tell by my contact name or by my voice. anywho, uh. i think, er, steven needs you. something happened just now and uh, i don't think he will talk to us about it. maybe you can talk to him? i can see if lion will pick you up if he tries?”

“oh. um, yeah i'll go back early. lemme pack my clothes for the week and you can send lion to me. i'm used to riding him so i'll be fine by myself.”

the conversation ends and lion actually comes two minutes after the call drops. he finishes his stuff, pet’s lion with a hello and a kiss on the head, and then tells him to lead him to where there was chaos. they make it to beach city, specifically steven’s home and dear god this place is wrecked. he hops off lion, walks in and sees the gems all standing where the warp pad is. they see him, point to steven’s room and so he walks upstairs.

“steven?”

steven looks up quickly from his position, leaning at the end of the bed with his head facing the floor, and sees blaze. “blaze! uh, hey? you're here a lot earlier than i expected.”

“had a gut feeling something happened so i came, heh. are you alright? steven, what happened?”

“nothin’, just. you know, the usual. something i create and care about just… tries to kill me and then boop, they're gone.”

blaze sits next to steven and wraps his arm around him in a hug. “i'm sorry, steven. i don't know what happened but you can talk to me about anything, you know? if we’re gonna.. you know, date, i want trust to build between us.”

“blaze, i already trust you. you've been nothing but helpful to me and caring. but i'm fine, for right now,” he turns his head and kisses blaze’s forehead. they both blush and look away, but continue hugging. they get comfortable on the bed and just go back to sleep, it's too early for blaze to be awake and steven needs sleep after whatever just happened with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so ive been watching this show since 2015, i was a freshman in high school. i started with when everyone found of garnet was a fusion, jailbreak. i then started it from the beginning and have been caught up every time a new episode came out. thinking about now, i remember following this show through that one steven bomb with kiki's pizza delivery service and i was watching it on vacation in another state, when now we're only falling apart came out and i was watching it at my uncles living room while everyone was outside partying, and so forth. this show was always by my side, even though sometimes i never saw it or felt it there. this show is a part of me that shaped me to be who i am. thank you steven universe, thank you rebecca sugar, thank you crewniverse. i will always come back to this show, whether it be reruns or listening to the soundtrack.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, chapter ten. the end of an era.

weeks pass and it's already august. august 14th, to be exact. it's been a month since blaze has kind of moved in with steven at beach city! well, they're doing the one week here one week there thing, but most of the time it's at stevens house. blaze loves beach city, but steven just loves blazes apartment. for one month to pass, steven and blaze’s relationship just keeps growing. holding hands, kisses on the cheek, more cuddles in bed or in steven’s car (blaze’s favorite date was when they sat in the backseat and watched a movie in the car). the lovebirds are slowly falling. but throughout the month, blaze has been witnessing steven’s flaws of turning pink and his insecurities. he hasn't turned pink _at_ blaze, but blaze has seen from afar moments when he goes pink. blaze has yet to ask him about it because… fear, maybe? he doesn't know, but blaze is letting it go because maybe he just needs to release steam.

steven is out running some errands and blaze is sitting at the table downstairs trying to create a plan. garnet comes by from the front door and blaze hollers for her.

“garnet! i need help creating a plan for something, but i think i need your help since i don't know most of beach city citizens…”

boom, a list of so many people who live in beach city. pearl comes by from her room and blaze stops her.

“pearl! i need help creating a plan, but i think i need your help since i don’t know a lot of music that steven likes...”

boom, a list of songs and artists that steven loves or has listened to. amethyst comes from… who knows where.

“amethyst! i need help creating-”

“whats up, home boy?”

“oh. uh, i need a list of snacks and foods that steven loves.”

boom, a long list of foods and snacks that steven likes. blaze calls for the other two gems wherever they may be and asks for help on setting up a party in the house for steven, but they have to keep it quiet and simple for now because it's a surprise. blaze grabs the list of citizens and goes around the city inviting people to a party and to keep hush hush. he tries to get in touch with lars & the off colors, sadie and shep but since ones in space and the others are touring it was slightly impossible. blaze gets back to the house and sees steven home. thankfully, he hid the papers so he wouldn't see.

“you've been out all day, wanna take a lunch break and go out?” steven says and he walks towards blaze and holds his hands.

“depends on what we eattttt,” blaze giggles in return.

steven smiles and brings him closer, kissing his forehead, “your pick then.”

the two go out to eat at fish stew pizza and they enjoy a nice late lunch, considering the fact it's almost 4:30 PM. they talk and talk because they could talk endlessly, that's just how they are. they get back home, watch a few movies, cuddle and knock out.

the next morning, blaze wakes up before steven so he could go shopping for the food for steven’s party and everything else such as paper plates, cups, utensils, decorations, etc. blaze asked the gems for some help with money (he knows pearl and amethyst got spare change lying around in their gem or in their room). he puts all the bags when he returns in amethyst’s room (she promises not to touch anything just for steven). garnet sees him and reminds him to invite greg and connie, his dad and best friend. blaze brain farts. how did he FORGET to invite his DAD??? he hasn't met him yet so it feels weird going to the car wash to invite him, but he'll do it. on the other hand, he has no communication with connie and hasn't met nor spoken to her before. and not just that, he's kind of jealous of her just a little because he knows steven and connie were or are close, and that steven used to have a crush on her.

blaze goes to steven’s room, sees that he's still asleep and goes to check his phone. this… isn't what you're supposed to do but he just needs connie’s number. and that's what he does. he opens stevens phone, clicks on contacts and sees connie's name. he puts her number on his phone, saves it under as connie and puts his phone back. easy. he walks back downstairs and prepares himself to walk to the car wash as he sends a text to connie.

**blaze 10:49 AM: hi, this is blaze. idk if steven has mentioned me, but i'm a friend of his. don't tell steven, but i'm planning a surprise birthday party for him today and considering the fact ur his best friend, i'm inviting u of course. let me know if ur able to make it :)**

he walks to the car wash, doesn't even introduce himself because he doesn't want to meet him without steven and just hands him an invitation and walks away. he’s sure that he’s been stared at in confusion, but he accepts it because it’s about his son. as he’s walking back to steven’s house, he gets a message on his phone.

**connie 11:01 AM: Yes, he has mentioned you! I’d be more than happy to join in on the party, but I might run late and miss the surprise in it. I have to study and do some chores, but I definitely will join the party!**

**blaze 11:03 AM: cool. bring snacks or gifts if u want**

blaze walks back to steven’s home, finding amethyst and a big rainbow colored haired gem setting up decorations. he walks up to steven’s room to see if he was still there and sure enough, he was not. he goes back down the stairs to ask where he went.

“he and garnet went out to run some errands about thirty minutes ago. she’s tryin’ to stall as much as she can. by the way, i’m bismuth. i assume you’re the blaze everyone is mentioning?” the rainbow haired gem, bismuth, says.

“everyone?”

bismuth laughs, “just joking! steven and amethyst have brought you up a couple times. it’s nice to meet you. you’ll see them soon, but lapis is the skinny blue gem with water wings and peridot is the shortstack of a gem! she’s green and tiny, she isn’t that hard to miss!”

blaze smiles at bismuth, he likes her. she seems energetic and sociable. blaze looks around the inside and outside for lion so he could go home and change into something somewhat presentable to wear to the party. he eventually finds him lying on the sand outside. blaze walks to him, rubs his head and tells him to him back home real quick. lion gives a huge long yawn, looks at blaze and then stands low enough for blaze to jump on him.

an hour later, around 12:50, the house is fully decorated and garnet and steven haven’t returned yet. he finds the two gems bismuth talked about and he goes to meet them. they’re easy to talk to! another half hour passes, people have started to show up. now blaze is worried on why steven isn’t home yet. he and garnet have been gone for about three hours. so he texts steven asking if he is okay. he gets an instant response.

**steven 1:28 PM: Yeah**

**steven 1:29 PM: Garnet has been driving me nuts all day. Running errands, going to the mall, other stores like… PLEASE! LET ME GO HOME!!**

**blaze 1:31 PM: lol sounds like a blast. let her spend some one on one time with you :(**

**steven 1:35 PM: Oh geez, now she’s unfused. I told her I wanted to go home already since it’s been S O long, but she unfused and Ruby wants to go… bowling? Why. Why is this happening to me, Blaze.**

**blaze 1:37 PM: LOL have funnnn**

once the clock hit around 2:00, blaze received a text from pearl stating they’ll be back in ten minutes. he tells everyone to duck down so steven won’t see everyone too much through the window. then he hears garnet and steven talking.

“garnet, i wont lie, but i’m actually happy i got to see ruby and sapphire.”

“you’re upset about something.”

“well, yeah! i’ve spent like, seventeen years of my life with you and the gems and _none_ of you guys remembered this year? of **_ALL_ ** years??”

“steven. let’s talk inside.”

steven groans and walks in with her, him walking in first. he opens his mouth to call for blaze, but then the bundle of people here jump up and scream surprise. steven looks around in legit shockness, he clenches his fist and turns pink for a second, then fading away when he notices everyone here. he smiles slowly, chuckling with it. he looks all over the place, looking for blaze, who is smiling the softest. he runs to him, picking him up and spinning him around and giving him a huge ‘ol kiss on the cheek.

“please tell me this was your idea.”

blaze giggles, “maybe.”

steven squeezes him tight again, kissing his forehead this time. he looks him in the eye, and gives him a sincere thank you. they both stay there like that, staring at each other, until someone cuts them off so they pull away, but hold each other's hands.

“happy birthday, schtu-ball. mind if i ask who your lil friend is here? she came to the car wash, handed me the invitation with no word and just left,” he laughs, “it was weird, but really funny.”

blaze made a face, and steven quickly replied, “dad, this is blaze. **_he_ ** is my, uh… friend..?”

greg, steven’s dad, gives an apologetic face, “sorry about that. steven, you say friend but your actions say otherwise. just saying, steve-o!” blaze and steven both blush. “ just remember, steven. i support you and whoever you like,” he gives him a hug.

when greg walks away, steven realizes something and starts to move his head around as if he’s looking for someone.

“you alright there? looking for something?” blaze asks.

“yeah... i don’t see…”

“steven!”

steven turns around, smiles huge and runs towards the person who called his name. blaze looks at where he was running to, which was the front door and sees steven hugging a girl. oh. that’s connie. they’re both laughing and hugging each other tight.

“happy birthday, steven! you’re a good ol’ seventeen now!”

“i thought you weren’t gonna be here when i didn't see you! i was like, there's no way she’s gonna miss my birthday? she sees me _every_ year for my birthday!”

“oh please, steven. i wouldn’t miss your birthday for anything!”

they continue talking for who knows how long before blaze finally decides to move from his spot. but of course when he starts to walk, they walk towards him.

“blaze, this is my best friend connie! connie, this is the one i told you about. you know, the guy..”

connie smiles and holds out her hand for him to shake, “it’s nice to finally physically meet you!”

blaze gives a fake smile and shakes her hand. “same here. um, i'm gonna go fetch a drink. help yourself to whatever is here,” and then he walks away.

blaze grabs a soda from the cooler and sighs. don’t be jealous, blaze. she’s just his best friend. he sighs once more, and hears the music change to a more upbeat song. he sits on the couch and sees connie and steven straight up vibing. garnet comes and sits next to him.

“connie is a good person. she is only steven’s best friend. steven likes you, don’t worry blaze.”

“thank you, garnet.”

and she leaves just like that. blaze notices them two still together. they’re dancing now. weirdly, but just like friends do. just friends. only friends. it’s normal for best friends to dance. it’s normal for best friends to dance together. it’s normal for steven to glow while dancing. it’s normal for connie to glow, too.

wait. humans can’t glow. blaze has seen this glow before. when garnet fuses or unfuses- oh my god. a flash of light happens and blaze sees it all. two teenagers dancing as best friends, and now there's one giant… person. they... look so happy to be here? but blaze isn’t. blaze thinks fusion is what gems who are in love do. why are they fused? who is this person? have they done this before? so many questions, he can’t handle this right now. he runs to the bathroom, garnet and pearl noticing. he sits against the door on the floor, clutching his heart over his shirt. does steven still like connie? did he ever like blaze? did seeing connie make him change his mind about liking blaze? did garnet lie? did she see the wrong future? did we take the wrong path? blaze plays with his hand, frantically clenching and unclenching it. he breathes heavily through his nose, in and out. in and out. he should’ve known steven would go back to connie. look, he can even hear the fusion laughing with the others.

blaze inhales and exhales a few more times. it’s okay. he listens to what garnet says. steven likes blaze, not connie. steven and connie are only best friends. maybe fusion isn’t just made out of love. he inhales once more, wipes a couple tears and walks out of the bathroom. he sees the fusion smiling, but a hint of worry. their eyes wander to the bathroom, where blaze is standing, and they run to blaze.

“blaze, are you alright? you rant to the bathroom and we got scared,” they speak.

“yeah, ate something bad and felt like i had to puke, but it went away and i’m fine now. so... um. who are you, exactly..?” blaze lies and then asks.

“i’m stevonnie! obviously a fusion of steven and connie. it’s been so long since i’ve been here, it feels… nice.”

“cool... uh, well. you’re allowed to stay fused for as long as you’d like, you are half steven and it's his birthday so he can do whatever he’d like. i’m gonna go play some of the board games with peridot, amethyst and pearl,” and he starts to walk away.

“wait, do you.. not think i’m cool or anything..? steven really wanted to show you his fusion, he wanted to show that _you_ both could fuse one day without telling you.”

blaze turns around quick and practically yells, “i can do that too?!”

stevonnie laughs and walks towards him, and grips his shoulders. “blaze, connie is fully human, as are you. if i can be here, then that means blaze and steven… staze… exists somewhere,” they reach for blaze’s hand, “and one day,” and then unfuse, resulting in steven holding his hand and connie standing next to him.

“i hope we can do that together,” steven smiles lovingly, then leans in and gives blaze’s forehead a smooch.

blaze blushes and looks at connie. he sighs and then says, “connie. sorry if i seemed.. rude. teenager jealousy, heh…”

connie gives a huge smile and chuckles, “don’t worry! steven and i are only friends. we know that. us fusing was just in the moment! i’m not saying it was an accident, stevonnie is and never will be an accident. but also, steven did want to show you that for your guy’s future.”

“connie…” blaze’s eyes start to tear up and he inhales again. “thank you for coming connie, really.”

the three go back to the middle of the room and start dancing to the music. this goes on for seven minutes, then a slow song playing. blaze remembers that he added a slow song to the playlist so he could slow dance with steven. connie smiles and walks towards the food area. steven and blaze slow dance to the song. steven asks if blaze would like to grab his waist or on his shoulders. blaze chooses the shoulders, and places both arms on each side of steven’s shoulders and steven holds blaze’s waist. they follow each other's footsteps, knowing each other's moves.

they look at each other and start blushing madly. blaze moves his face to the crook of his neck, hiding his face. steven chuckles, moving his head a little to see blaze’s face. he then unwraps one hand from blaze’s waist and holds blaze’s cheek, guiding him to look at him. blaze does, he stares into steven’s dark eyes. steven stares back into blaze’s brown ones, slowly leaning into each other. their eyes close, leaning closer. and soon enough, their lips interlock with each other. they share their first lip-to-lip kiss for a couple seconds as they dance. as they pull away and the music changes back to upbeat, they open their eyes with red faces. steven chuckles, then giggles, then gives a good laugh. blaze does the same. they unwrap from each other, and just suck in each other’s vibes. in a distance, garnet is smiling at the two. they smile at each other, then connie comes back to chat.

the day ends, the party is over, everyone has gone home. the gems are in their room doing their own thing and steven and blaze are lying next to each other, cuddling. blaze checks the time. 11:50 PM. he turns to his side, as well as steven so they look at each other.

“i’m really glad i got to meet connie and stevonnie today. sorry if i seemed.. too extra.”

“you were fine, i promise. connie texted me when she left that she really likes you and is glad i have you with me.”

“oh please, i’m lucky to have you with me.”

they bicker back and forth for a while, playfully. they even start to softly punch each other teasingly. then steven asks for the time.

“It just turned midnight.”

“cool.”

they both go silent for a minute. so silent, it seems like they both fell asleep.

“blaze?”

“yes, steven?”

“it’s the 16th now, right?”

“yes.”

“cool.”

silence again…

“blaze?”

sigh, “yes, steven?”

“will you be my boyfriend?”

  
  
  


“yes, steven.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi its april fourth and its my bday uwu i turn nineteen hehe. celebrating stevens bday in the story and mine irl *that blush shocked emoji*
> 
> P.S. if there are any mistakes, forgive me! rly tired


	11. happy together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> { the only one for me is you, and you for me }  
> { so happy together }

it’s 9 am on a chilly february day, in a small studio apartment in south jersey. the alarm blares a familiar tune for blaze to wake up. he slams his fingers on the phone, snoozing it for nine minutes. there's a groan, a laugh and then a snore. today is the day he officially moves out of this apartment and moves in with his boyfriend of six months, steven. and yes, blaze knows that's considered “too soon” to move in with each other, but they **know** they want their future to be together. with a little help of garnet, she says in _almost_ every future that they were never apart. so, they took the initiative and blaze is moving in with steven. the gems, plus greg, said they were cool with it because they like blaze! blaze, not liking the fact that he doesn't have to pay rent, has started back up in performing and stuff so he is making some money to do things such as groceries and necessities.

blaze is nervous to move in, but also very excited. he’s ready for a new chapter in his life with his new boyfriend and new home once more. he’s finally leaving jersey, no more accidental crashing into exes and ex best friends. he may visit frequently for hometown shows, but he’s performing at beach city now. he’s also sad that he’s leaving conner, but all he needs to do is shoot a text and steven can get him with lion, or they can visit him. nevertheless, he’s ready to move on. 

so that leads to now, 9 am on a cold morning in a studio apartment. blaze has snoozed the alarm for a third time, steven laughing each time it happens. steven finally decides to sit up, bringing blaze with him. they look at each other, laugh together because of bed head and get off the bed to get ready. they’re moving early by car so they can travel together longer, like humans. and steven has mentioned how he feels less human and more gem lately, so blaze suggested they drive. they finish brushing their teeth, and walk out to the kitchen area to eat the rest of cereal left inside of the cabinets, which happened to be an off brand lucky charms.

steven stares at the cereal and the marshmallows for a while, and he starts to daydream. blaze finishes his bowl and stands up to throw the paper bowl in the trash with steven’s, but notices he’s not even done eating. he calls his name a few times, but steven is too far in his own thoughts to hear him. he pushes him slightly, causing steven to jolt in a fright, turn pink and push blaze away quickly, but harshly, om accident.

“o-oh, blaze! i’m sorry! sorry, i was just. in a daydream.. i'm sorry,” steven frantically apologizes. he gets up, throws his bowl in the trash and hugs blaze from behind.

“steven, it's… it's fine? babe, are you alright? you've been out of it a lot the last month.”

steven sighs, per usual. he forces a smile, kisses blaze’s cheek, “ _everything's fine_.”

“okay…”

obviously, blaze doesn't believe him. but steven says he's fine, so he's going to believe it. they finish clearing and cleaning the apartment, then finally blaze leaves a note on the countertop. it reads “ **_thank you for having me here. if any issues with the way we left the apartment, don't hesitate to call me!! - blaze_ **”. the couple walks out of the apartment, blaze locks it and smiles one more time. time for a better, happier chapter. they get in the car, drive to the main office to drop off the keys (in which he gives the lady a nice hug and thanks her for her time), and they're on their way to great ol’ beach city! steven’s driving, blaze is playing music, and it's a lovely day outside despite it being cold. the drive isn't TOO long, but blaze falls asleep eventually.

“hey, blaze. we’re home. wakey wakey, handsome,” and a kiss on the forehead.

blaze opens his eyes to the view of stevens house, their now shared home, and so he stretches in the car and gets out. steven brought all of the luggage and clothes inside, leaving blaze to just bring himself in. he walks in, inhales the fact he now lives here, and exhales in satisfaction. he plops onto the couch to lay down and closes his eyes, dozing off again. until something plops right down on top of him that knocks the wind out of him for a second because of the sudden weight. he opens his eyes and sees steven laying on him, just staring. and they both just… stare. until they start to giggle.

“steven, get off of me. i'm a weak man, i can't hold your weight.”

“oh well, you're holding it now,” and reaches over to peck his cheek.

blaze giggles, pushing his face away. they go on for a couple minutes until someone warps in. steven looks up to see amethyst and garnet. they wave at the two, amethyst laughing and garnet smiling at the two, and sit at the table. steven gets up, walks to them and asks what's going on. blaze just watches the three interact. it's crazy that they're family, raised together and such. garnet is more of like a serious mom or older sister type, amethyst is definitely a fun mom or hype sister type, and then there's pearl who's the overprotective mom or cautious sister. and then there's greg, the chill dad who was probably a pothead in his rockstar days before he met… rose, steven’s mom. who was a diamond. hm.

someone snaps their fingers from a distance, trying to get blaze’s attention so now he finally looks over and sees steven gone but garnet and amethyst are still there. blaze sits up, walks over to them and asks what's goin on.

“so, i'm not sure how much you've noticed but steven’s been acting weird since the whole cactus issue happened. have you gotten anything out of him?” amethyst asks blaze.

“cactus… that happened like over six months ago! things are still weird with you guys?”

“uh, yeah. he seems calm and talkative, but it's totally different than when he was younger.”

“well, i… don't even know exactly what happened that day. i just know the cactus was repeating him.”

“he never TOLD YOU?!”

blaze winces, and looks away, “um… no. he said he was fine! so i just assumed everything was fine! what… what happened?”

garnet takes over, “the cactus was repeating steven’s words. and it was saying some.. stuff about us. how he doesn't want my high and mighty advice, amethyst is acting like she's so mature, and not wanting to worry pearl because he'll have to fix the problem.”

“we tried asking if he wanted to talk to us, but… he didn't want to. he said that he's said enough, went to his room and that's when pearl called you.”

blaze looks down at his fingers. he didn't know that happened. he would've helped steven with that… he doesn't want steven thinking badly of the gems if he still does and he definitely doesn't want steven to think he can’t talk to him about things. he cares about steven and his mental well-being, he always will. nothing will ever make blaze leave steven. speak of the devil, he comes back inside the house with a pouty face.

“yo man, did it come in?” amethyst smiles and asks steven.

he sighs, “no… i wish they gave me a tracking label. never trust anyone online if they don't provide shipping labels. anyway, blaze! connie called and said she wants to roller skate tonight! you up for ittttt?”

“o-oh, i love roller skating so sure! i’d love that. and i get some one on one time with connie, and you know i love connie,” blaze smirks.

steven giggles, “you guys are more best friends than we are, you just stole my best friend. i'm offended, hurt and betrayed. now i need a new one! oh, i’ll take conner!”

“oh please, that gay man would never have a straight man as a best friend!”

“uh… blaze. i’m not straight, i’m literally dating you, a boy...”

blaze stares at steven, and then blushes in embarrassment, “i-i forget sometimes when i'm in the headspace. my mind says boy, but it also says haha let's forget that and pretend you're a… girl. yeah. uh, we never really talked about that though... what do you identify as for your sexual orientation?”

“oh, uh. i asked connie for help with this since i wasn't sure. i mean, i was never sure since i was a kid whether i like guys or not because it was obvious i liked.. girls. i also liked the whole dressing up thing because i never cared about what i wore, but liking guys? i never paid attention to that… until i met you. uh, so. i asked connie ‘what do i search, what do i identify as’, and she said i don't need to have a label. but if i need one, then she'd say i am.. queer? is that the correct word? i'm under the.. queer umbrella or something of the sort?”

blaze smiles and giggles, “if you want to identify as that or feel as though you resonate with it, then go for it. my label is bisexual, since i know i like men and women. i just have a preference for men, but only one man! and his name is steven quartz cutiepie demayo diamond universe!” and he leaps onto him, kissing his cheek and neck and all over his face and giggling.

steven starts to giggle too, completely forgetting the two gems were there beside them and when he notices, he blushes and pulls away. blaze as well blushes and pulls away. they continue to giggle again, however.

the day passes, and it's night time. steven is driving to the roller skating rink with blaze, connie, bismuth and pearl who decided to join in for human interaction. steven and blaze are in the front, holding hands as he drives, while connie, bismuth and pearl are in the back. they get there, get their shoes, yadda yadda. connie crashes into some friends, steven meets them, we know the drill. only difference is, blaze joins in with connie and friends. he asks steven if he should wait for him since 1) he clearly needs help since he's never skated before, and 2) that's his boyfriend and he’s like said, clearly having trouble. but steven just denies the help, leaving blaze to continue to skate around but without connie. he keeps watching steven from every second he can because seeing his boyfriend struggle is making him feel bad. eventually he sees his sit down with bismuth, so blaze just assumes he’s fine. 

blaze skates to connie and her friends. they’re really nice! until connie pulls him away to skate with each other, just them two.

“soooo, how’s steven? how's the relationship? are you guys treating each other right?” she smirks.

“we are perfect. i haven't seen any red flags and it makes me happy because i wore rose tinted glasses with my ex and ignored the red flags. i don't need rose tinted glasses with steven, he is my rose. he's the joy and love i wish i had first. oh, sorry! this got lovey dovey quick. how’s jeff? does steven know yet?”

“we’re great! we just made two months a week ago! and… no. it's been hard. i don't know how to bring it up! it was hard enough telling you and we haven't been friends for four years. imagine telling him! i don't know why, but i guess it's because we’ve had… a history? we’ve been through so much; a gem war, birthdays, very obvious crushes that neither of us made a move on, and then there's stevonnie! what if he never wants to form stevonnie again just because i'm in a relationship? poor stevonnie! what about-”

“connie. relax. it's okay. stevonnie can still exist, he wouldn't be _that_ upset with you. he loves stevonnie! they were his first fusion! whatever happens, i'm sure he'll be-”

“ ** _BLAZE_ **!”

the two then around just in time to see steven, face first on the floor. connie tries to stifle a laugh, as well as blaze, but blaze skates towards steven.

“yes, steven?”

“i've been avoiding you today. i… i've been nervous. you said you wanted one on one time with connie, so i let you! you were having so much fun with her and her friends, but i couldn’t join because i’m awkward and… i… i can’t skate!”

blaze chortles, “steven. i don't care that you can't skate. we could've sat down and ate those curly cheese fries and chicken strips. i could have taught you to skate, dude.”

“i know… i'm sorry, blaze. i just didn't want to hold you back. like i said, you were having fun with connie.”

“but you're my boyfriend, and _i love you_. i wouldn't leave you behind just for a friend who is YOUR best friend. get up silly, let me teach you to skate,” blaze smiles and sticks his hand out.

steven pouts, tears threatening to come out. this was blaze’s second time he’s said i love you to steven. first time of course was their first thanksgiving together, but it had slipped out. he got really embarrassed and acted like he never said it. but steven has never said it yet, he more expresses it than says it. he blinks the tears off, smiles and sticks his hand up to grab blaze’s. there's a ringing in his and blaze’s ears as they stare at each other. it feels as though it was the first time they kissed. they blush, and blaze pulls steven up with all of his strength. steven’s gem glows, and the smell of roses and strawberries fill the room as a bright pink glowing hue flashes in the roller skating rink. with a thump and some harmless smoke, a body falls to the ground. the smoke fades away, and there's a person. blaze and steven… are gone! the body grunts, stretching before opening their eyes. the person looks around, sees connie with a huge smile on her face, looks around again and sees pearl staring in shock. they look at their hands, and their legs, and their feet. they’re.. confused. they stand up, their shoes off. they finally speak.

“steven, uh. blaze? why does my, your body. feel weird? why do i feel taller? why is your, no. my skin? look lighter than what i am? who.. what? STEVEN! ARE we- we are fused? we’re fused! oh my god, i did it? no, we did it? i'm a fusion? i’m a fusion!” the person looks around again to find connie, who is already on her way to them.

“connie! i did it! he did it! i fused with steven! no, blaze did. not me. i'm already a fusion. we did it! how. how? why did we fuse? why am i here? this.. is weird!”

“blaze, steven. you are feeling what **_i_ ** felt when i first fused with steven! you are not blaze, or steven! you’re both! and i am going to say what garnet told stevonnie. you're an experience! this is your first time being here, and isn't it lovely? you will love it and love being here. you are who you are and you choose your own identity. blaze. steven.. staze! we can create a better name for you if you don't like it, but… welcome!” and she gives them a huge hug.

“im a fusion.. that's crazy! i know exactly what i want my first act as a fusion to be. whether it be easy or hard. _let's have some fun_.”

“staze” walks over to the counter to return the tiny shoes to get bigger ones. “he” slips them on and slowly skates towards sour cream, messing up a bit. he asks him to play a song, a nice one to skate a little. the song plays, the fusion breathes in and out and smiles. _let's do this, staze. time to skate._

the song starts, and it's recognized as **_happy together_ ** by **_gerard way_ ** . the fusion breathes in, and breathes out. _we got this. you and me both. we both got this._ and so they skate. to the majority of the song. they skate to connie, letting her join in with their little skate dance. and they even go to bismuth and pearl, who are equally as fascinated with his presence. after the song finishes, he looks so happy with himself! he even squeezes himself into a hug. but he starts to cry and tremle, which kinda worries one half of the fusion. so he walks off to the restrooms, and sits in a stall. the fusion can hear the duo in his mind just talking back and forth, and it just feels like he’s hearing voices. it feels weird. he feels weird.

_why are we crying? no, why are you crying? steven, we’ve fused! this is our love in physical form!_

**_blaze, this. this is the best thing in my life right next to stevonnie. i love it, but… it hurts._ **

_what hurts?_

**_everything. my mind, my emotions. i.. i don't want to make you feel that. you are not supposed to feel that. i'm not mentally sane right now. you can hear my thoughts when we’re fused, but you can't hear them. i won't let you._ **

_steven, it's okay. please. let me in. i know you're hiding stuff. i'm your boyfriend, we should talk._

**_no, blaze! you're going to hear something and you're going to start worrying and then i have to find a way to fix it. because that's all i do, i heal. i help. i fix. and i don't want to fix you._ **

_steven, please! talk to me-_

another flash of pink and the smell of strawberries and roses come back. the two unfuse in the bathroom stall. thankfully, it was the big stall and steven flies a foot and hits the door. he gets up, unlocks it and leaves the bathroom. blaze chases after him, calling after him. he sees steven walk last connie and the two gems, and he notices connie with a worried face. she pulls him to the side, asking what happened. he groans and yanks his arm back, telling her he'll text her later. he chases after steven, going outside and sees him walking towards his car. oh no he isn't. he runs to steven, stopping him.

“steven, what's wrong? why aren't you talking to me? this has been going on for months, the gems told me about the cactus stuff. what's been happening? i'm your boyfriend, you can talk to me!”

“why’s it matter?”

“w-why?”

“i'm not okay, blaze. i've never been. and it's been hard for me to admit that and it's STILL hard to admit it. i am going through problems no gem and no human can understand because there's NO ONE like me. i know you felt my first reaction when i realized when we fused. you were happy, but you could tell there was a downside to it. that was me. my first thought was _shit, he's gonna-”_

“it was, he's gonna hear my thoughts and fear me, my power, and never fuse again. i know. but that's not true. steven. that's why we need to talk. communication is key in a relationship and if we can't communicate, then what are we doing?”

steven looks away, then down. he sighs, and walks towards blaze, giving him a long hug. head on his shoulder facing his neck, hands around his waist, sad pouty face.

“i’m sorry. i’m sorry, i'm just. i’m not used to this. talking about my feelings. it's change, and i can’t handle it yet. but you make me want to. to change, in a better way. i'm trying, blaze. can we.. get the others? i want to go home and just. bleh, cuddle you to death.”

blaze squeezes him tight, kisses his cheek. “yes, my love. let's go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wouldn't have written this and posted it so late but my gf broke up with me the day after my birthday lol so i've been (((((:))))) um yeah so i hope this was written okay. uh, for the next ten chapters i'm gonna add a song for the chapter title and a lyric as the summary! :)


	12. let's kill tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> { show them all you're not the ordinary type }  
> { let's kill tonight }  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhh i have been lazy, tired and this semester is almost over and then iM FREEEEE until September. n e way, this chapter is literally 4.3k words ;; it is 6 am and i have been writing this since like 4 am LMAO forgive any/all mistakes i might proofread another time i am tiredt. enjoy doe :^)

“hey blaze. do you think we could... have a chat? about something personal?”

it’s a couple weeks after steven and blaze first fused. they haven’t done it again, but they would love to sometime soon.

blaze looks up from playing video games with amethyst in the shared bedroom, which causes him to lose the match between the two. he looks back at the tv and groans because of the loss, but then urges amethyst to leave so they could talk. steven sits next to blaze on the bed, grabs his hands and looks him in the eyes. blaze, obviously confused and nervous, stares back with a little shake in his hands.

“so... you know how you stopped talking to your parents because they didn’t like your ex?”

and blaze knows immediately what this is about. he yanks his hands away, standing up off the bed and goes towards the door that leads outside. steven stands up, walking towards him before he walks out.

“blaze, please listen before you leave.”

“no.”

“blaze…”

“steven, no. i don’t  _ want _ you meeting them, i don’t really want you near them.  **_i_ ** don’t want to be near them. they are judgmental, toxic and i don’t want to be ambushed with my birth legal name or whatever. and i don’t want them to disapprove of you just because of me, and the fact you’re… not normal. they would turn us down so quick and… i just don’t want you to go through that with me.”

steven walks beside him. he brings him in closer, wrapping an arm around his waist, and gives him a kiss on the head.

“since when do we care about other people’s opinion of us? i mean, sure my feelings may or may not be hurt, but i don’t care right now. but if you don’t want to see them, then we don’t have to. but i know you miss them. conner told me! i just think it’s time you try and talk to them, even if i don’t meet them.”

blaze looks at steven, rolls his eyes and makes a mental note. ( _ conner, imma beat your ass) _ . he sighs and gets out of steven’s grasp and turns around to face him.

“no, you’re right. i do miss them… we can visit them soon.” steven stares at him, holds out his hand, and smiles slightly. blaze takes it, and steven pulls him into a hug.

“tomorrow?”

“too soon.”

“sunday?”

“... yeah, i guess.”

sunday comes quickly, considering the fact it was just friday. it’s around 3 PM when they are ready to go. they decide to take lion, to show them right off a bat that steven is not normal. blaze is dressed in some comfy clothes: black joggers with a dark green t-shirt and chest binder, with some sneakers. he wants to show them he’s serious about his identity when he tells them. and he’s now gonna show them how good steven is for him and that things change. that he was capable and found a real man for him. they leave, and blaze tells steven where their house is. they get there pretty quickly, and they hop off lion. blaze stares at the house, and starts to shake visibly. his loving and supporting boyfriend notices and holds his hand, turning blaze to face him. he grabs a hold of his face in his hands, stares at him in the eyes and says, “it’s going to be okay.” blaze exhales all his anxieties, and nods. he makes his way to the door, with steven and lion beside him. and then he lifts his finger to ring the doorbell and… his finger just lingers there.

“...blaze?” steven whispers, “are you… gonna ring the bell?”

“i-i can’t… i can’t do it.”

“want me to?”

“no, i don’t think i’m ready to see them,” he turns to face steven and starts to whisper yell, “they kicked me out, what if they don’t  _ want _ to see me? what if they are actually better off without me? what if they didn’t miss me at all and talked shit about me to my grandparents? not my abuela! she LOVED me! steven i can’t do this, i just can’t-”

then they both hear a ding. they both turn their heads, blaze’s face in a panic. the doorknob was pressed… by lion’s nose?? steven holds back a laugh and blaze stares at lion. you damn lion! no lion lickers for you! steven holds blaze’s hand as blaze regains his posture and gives a large inhale, and a large exhale. this is really happening. the door on the other side sounds like someone is unlocking all the locks (at most 3, blaze’s dad was all about safety), and then the doorknob turns. it opens to reveal a maybe 5’7 or 5’8 middle aged man of color, bald, with thin reading glasses. he stares at steven first confused, then turns his head towards blaze, his child. his face goes from confusion, to shock and he whispers blaze’s (birth) name. as if on cue, a woman appears next to him with eyes of worry. she’s shorter, about the same height as blaze. she also appears as a person of color, but looks more hispanic like. her hair is a dark brown-ish mixed with burgundy, haircut swooped to the side. she sees blaze on instant and almost starts crying. they have yet to see lion, which is kind of good. so blaze decides to speak first, breaking the cold silence between them all.

“hello mom, hello dad.”

they ignore steven almost instantly as blaze’s mother pushes her father out of the way to give him a huge hug.

“oh, blair! we missed you so much! when alice told us that you guys graduated and you broke up with that terrible, terrible boy, we were hoping you’d come back to us! your father may not show it, as usual, but we really did miss you, mamita.”

“alice kept in contact with you after i moved out? what?? you know what, that’s not the problem. mom, dad. before i get into this really handsome boy and his pet standing beside me, i need to tell you something.”

“Wha- OH my- uh. everybody: stand still! there’s... a lion… somehow? in jersey?” his mom screams and grabs a hold of her husband tightly and he also has a look of fear in his eyes.

blaze gives out a huge sigh, “nevermind, they come first then. mom, dad. this is my boyfriend steven and his magical pet lion named lion. also i am transgender and i go by the name blaze so i’d appreciate it if you call me that instead of blair, yeah? okay? same page? great! time to leave-”

blaze turns around to leave but steven yanks him back. he smiles at the parents and decides to introduce himself instead, “hi, mr. and mrs. may. i’m steven universe and i am blaze’s boyfriend of six months. yes, this is my pet lion named lion. had him since i was thirteen! he, uh, really likes the smell of your home hence why he keeps sniffing,” he pushes lion behind him, “anywho. it’s uh, nice to meet you!” he smiles awkwardly and scratches his neck.

the two parents just stare at the couple as if they spoke another language. so blaze’s dad speaks up first.

“i’m sorry, why are you calling my blair, blaze? secondly, you? are my daughter’s boyfriend? a kid with a  _ lion _ as a pet?”

“albert, please. maybe he isn’t as bad as the last one. i mean, the lion is kind of… terrifying, but he might be different. come in, both of you. please,” blaze’s mom invites.

blaze and steven hold hands as they enter and lion starts to walk in after.

“oh, uh. we don’t allow animals in the house anymore,” she continues.

“leave the pet outside, please,” the dad cuts in.

steven turns to pet lion and tells him to stay out. lion just gives a huffing sound and decides to just rest outside the door. the two continue to walk in as blaze takes notice on… how much the house hasn’t changed in like, two years. the parents guide the two to the living room, so all four of them sit. blaze and steven on one couch, and his parent’s on the opposite. blaze starts the conversation up again.

“anyway, obviously you guys weren’t paying attention the first time, but as i was saying… um, i am, uh, you know… transgender or whatever. and i go by blaze, so don’t call me blair anymore.”

“you’re huh and you go by who? what?” his mom says.

“UGH, you guys are so difficult!  **_I_ ** am  **_NOT_ ** a girl!  **_I_ ** identify as a  **_BOY_ ** ! i don’t want to be called  **_blair_ ** , i want to be called  **_blaze_ ** ! what is SO hard to understand?!”

“... everything?? you can’t just, wish to be a boy and then POOF! you’re a boy! name changes are understandable, people hate their names and want to change it sometimes. your grandfather did that, he hated being called-”

“mom, no offense but i don’t care about abuelo right now. this is about me, and i want you BOTH to understand that i am who i am, and that’s an eighteen year old boy who goes by the name of blaze, pronouns he/him/his.”

“blair, sweetie i don't understand-”

“i do, though.”

they all look towards blaze’s dad.

he gives a sigh, “as you know, i am old school as well as my family. when my brother left the family, we ain’t have contact with him for years. until suddenly, we had a family reunion when i was 27 and bam: there he was, in a dress and with long hair. natural, shoulder length brown hair. makeup on and all. of course we were all confused. did he become a gay man? a gay man who loved dressing as girls? until he explained to the family, he wanted to be called Charlie instead of Charles. of course he got shunned away, but he expected it and said he wasn’t staying for the party. i had already seen the signs when we were kids, i liked race cars and he liked playing house with his action figures. he asked for the girls toys for fast food, and i always made fun of him. i caught him one day wearing ma’s dresses and high heels and i never let him hear the end of it. so that day, i walked to him before he left and i looked him dead in the eye. he said, ‘what do you want, don? to make fun of me too?’ and i just smiled at him and i said, ‘good luck with your journey, sis.’ gave her a little punch on the shoulder, and left.”

“... dad, i appreciate that story a lot. but the unnecessary amount of times you called aunt charlie a he is just, not cool.”

“i know, not seeing hi-uh, her, in years, it’s hard to call her a she. i got her on facebook, she looks like a real woman! anyway, i’m just sayin’ i understand. listen, blair. blaze, whatever you want to be called. i understand, not the best, but i do. it’ll be hard, but i support you. you have grown into a beautiful woman and if you want to throw that out to become a handsome man, i’ll be here to call you my son. we both will, right lizzy?”

blaze’s mom sits there, confused but then sighs, “yes. it’ll take me some time, but i am here for you too. my…. Son.”

blaze just sits there, staring at them both. steven glanced towards him, checking to see if he would cry. but all blaze does is exhale a BUNCH of air and says, “GREAT! time to reintroduce ourselves! steven, mom, dad. you guys talk. I’mmmmmm gonna go to the restroom,” and just like that, he stands up and dips to the bathroom. to cry, of course. he’s like, way overjoyed right now. so now, it’s just steven, mom, and dad.

“uh, should i reintroduce myself… or?”

“no, you’re good. let me introduce us: i’m albert, my family calls me don for my middle name.”

“im lizzy, short for eliza. and you’re, you said steven? steven... universe?”

“haha, yep… last name would’ve been demayo if my dad never legally changed it..”

“how old are you? what do you do? what’s your parents' career? where do you live and with whom? how’d you meet our daugh- uh, child? how long you two been together? are you a good or bad influence to her? what is your future goals and career? what's your plan with my kid, marriage or just a tiny relationship that you break up after some tiny argument? Hm?”

steven just stares at mr. may, albert, and he gives a shy and semi scared laugh. nonetheless, he responds, “uh, so. i’m seventeen, i’m savior of the galaxy and i worked with little homeworld and little homeschool, but then i retired and uh… i don’t really do anything now.. my dad was a rock star! he, uh, works at a car wash now. my mom… is not here anymore. i live in beach city, delmarva. my house is  _ on _ the beach! i live with my, uh, kinda mom’s/kinda sister’s/kinda aunts? i met blaze in beach city last june, he came for vacation and we just met on the boardwalk and became friends. we started dating the day after my birthday in august. um, i’d like to think i’m a good influence? i feel like we both are good influences on each other. uh, hehe….”

steven starts to feel his skin getting hot, he’s embarrassed. he knows the next question, he’s just hoping blaze will return before he has to answer.

“i’m sorry, you said you're the savior of the galaxy and retired? do you think we’re a joke? be serious, mr. universe.”

“i-i am…”

“you really expect us to believe you? are you high? you take drugs? i don’t want my child dating a crackhead. maybe you are a bad influence, son. just say you have no job, no career, and no future and just-”

there’s a hue of pink radiating off of steven. he’s being called all these negative terms of things he’s  _ not _ and it, it just reminds him of jasper. he’s  _ NOT _ a crackhead, he’s  _ NOT _ on drugs, he’s  _ NOT _ a bad influence, or so he thinks he’s not? is he a bad influence and he doesn’t know? oh man, maybe he shouldn’t have asked blaze to come here and made him come at his own time. maybe he shouldn’t have asked blaze to move in so soon. he buries himself deeper and deeper into his thoughts, he starts to shake. albert and lizzy are confused on why and how there is a pink glowing boy in their living room… until blaze returns.

“uhh, steven? mom, dad, what did you do to him?!”

he runs to steven, steven immediately hearing his voice and the pink fades away. blaze stands in front of steven, kneels down to his sitting position’s height, grabs his face and looks at him. he can see the look of fear and worry on his face. he turns around and faces his parents.

“hello? what the hell did you tell my boyfriend that he’s like, turning pink and having a freaking panic attack?!”

“i-i was just asking him questions, then he just.. became a pink boy..?”

blaze groans, “steven is a gem, y'all. he is half human, from his dads side, and half gem, from his mother’s side. his mom was a intergalactic war criminal known for shattering one of the leaders of all gems: pink diamond. time passes, she meets greg: steven’s father. they fall in love, she gives up her physical form to create steven. he has her gem. more time passes, steven finds out his mom faked everything and never  _ shattered _ pink diamond, but  _ was _ pink diamond. she lied so she could stay on earth and protect it, so that meant steven was lied to all his life and that he was actually a diamond. and steven had to deal with all her problems until he befriended the other three leaders and stopped them from hurting and shattering and controlling all gems, and now they love and adore him and are  **_really_ ** large. anyway, steven glows pink when he’s anxious or angry or sad because of his diamond powers. so  **YOU** guys said something that made him anxious, angry. so what did you say.”

there was a silence as he just stood there, waiting. fifteen seconds pass, and he rolls his eyes and starts to usher steven up.

“kay, well then. we’re leaving. i may or may not visit again, who knows.”

“wait, don’t… i may have gone out of hand… and i didn’t believe when he said he was savior of the galaxy and so i asked if he was high, on drugs, might’ve called him a crackhead-”

“DAD??? WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL? you don’t just assume shit and straight up attack my boyfriend behind my back. steven, i-i am so sorry. i should’ve been here,” he turns to face steven again.

“babe, it’s fine. i knew he was just automatically assuming, but it.. just got to me. it’s fine though!”

“but it’s  _ not _ fine though,” he then starts to whisper, “i know your mental health isn’t… the best right now. you don’t deserve that, i should’ve been here.”

“it’s fine, blaze. really.”

blaze sighs and seats himself once again next to steven, “what else did you ask him?”

“what his future and/or career goals are,” lizzy responds.

blaze cringes at that because he knows steven is having trouble with that. so he just smiles, and changes the subject, “well guys. i only came by to kiss and make up with you guys, so steven and i are gonna head home. we might stop by conner’s place since we’re back in jersey.”

“oh, dear. at least stay for dinner! i was planning on cooking rice and chicken, but i can make anything you’d like!”

“well, steven’s a vegetarian. so something without meat?”

time flies and it’s about 6:30. lizzy, blaze’s mother, ended up making the white rice and chicken, but a side of oriental soy noodles and a salad for steven. they sit at the dinner table and start to eat. and that’s when blaze remembers a little detail from earlier and decides to approach his parents about it.

“you guys said alice kept you guys updated on me after i left?”

“hm? oh yes! when you moved out, she came and apologized for letting us know about that boy of yours. she said you got into an argument about it, and she felt guilty afterwards. so she would constantly visit to keep us updated. so right after you both graduated, she came over and showed us pictures of you, her and that other kid… the gay one? i always forget his name.”

“conner,” blaze replies in monotone.

“yes, him! she also said you were planning on breaking up with him and got an apartment. i was hoping you would move back in or at least speak to us by then… but we never got anything,” his mom finishes.

“has she returned at all within the last six or so months,” blaze once again speaks in monotone. he sets his fork on the plate, elbows on the table and fingers crossed, listening.

“she hasn’t actually. how are you guys? is she still an angel? you know we’ve always loved her, she was like our second daughter!”

“well she isn’t in the picture anymore, so stop calling her my sister.”

blaze starts to eat his food angrily. he has a huge dislike towards alice because of all the useless arguments, and the fact she admitted she had an affair with her boyfriend at the time while she was drunk. and she got angry that blaze came out to jayce first? it all just… boils his blood.

“what... what happened between you? we LOVED her!” albert speaks up.

“Doesn’t. Matter,” he continues eating.

lizzy starts up again, “was it over another silly argument? just talk it out, and you guys can be friends aga-”

“talk it out? TALK IT OUT?? you want me to just walk up to her and  _ TALK it OUT _ ? hey alice! remember when you said you fucked my boyfriend behind my back just because you both had an argument with me on that same day? i think we should talk it out, and maybe i’ll forgive you! Yeah mom, dad, it’s GUARANTEED to work!” blaze slams his fork on the plate, stands up and pushes his seat back and storms off upstairs, most likely in his old bedroom.

there’s a silence between steven and blaze’s parents. he sighs, slides his chair back, says excuse me and follows blaze upstairs to find blaze’s room. once he finally finds it, he opens the door to see blaze lying on the bed that was left in there. it looks like everything was untouched. he makes his way to the bed, sits on the edge of one side of the bed. he reaches and starts to rub his fingers against blaze’s scalp: he loves the feeling of his head being scratched. blaze lets out a huge sigh and turns on his back. steven fixes how he’s seated and lies next to him on his back.

“it’s just. it’s a sensitive topic for me.”

“they couldn’t have known.”

“they kept EGGING me to tell them, like we just started talking today. i don’t have to tell them EVERYTHING. they don’t know i started T, and stopped because i had to switch insurance and the doctor’s didn’t take that one and i didn’t have the money to pay out of pocket. they don’t know a LOT! ughh, steven. i feel like a teenage girl going through a midlife crisis.”

“well, for starters: you’re no teenage girl. next, i know it’s hard to talk to them. they did egg you on, but also they didn’t mean no harm. if you want to go back home, we can.”

blaze sighs, “you always know what to say. let’s finish our food and decide what to do.”

they both return downstairs and blaze apologizes, telling them everything between alice and him. they just all talk and blaze’s mood ends up getting better the longer they talk. then blaze checks the time. wow, time really does fly. It’s 8:00 and it’s dark out by now.

“we should probably head out now, it’s late and dark.”

“spend the night! it is late and dark, yes. which means you shouldn’t go out. your bedroom was left how it was, you can just sleep and leave in the morning if you want,” blaze’s mother speaks up.

blaze looks at steven to see if he’s okay with it, and he just smiles back and shrugs. blaze smiles back (and pinches steven’s cheek because he is SO darn CUTE!) and tell his mom they’ll spend the night, but ONLY if they let lion inside. at least into his room. they agree! so steven goes to fetch lion and blaze goes to his room. only because they need to fetch some pj’s so steven is gonna go ride home REAL quick and hopefully teleport back  _ inside  _ blaze’s room instead of blaze having to go downstairs to let them in. so steven leaves and returns (he had to open the front door anyway), and they lead lion to blaze’s room. they change to their pj’s lay in bed with blaze’s bright white fairy lights. they look like stars. then there’s a knock on the door.

“uh, yeah?”

the door creaks open and blaze’s mom walks in.

“oh, steven is sharing a bed… with you.”

“yeah, duhh. we share a bed back at home so… it’s not new.”

“just... wasn’t expecting that is all. um, i just wanted to say thank you for coming back. we really missed you.”

blaze smiles, “i missed you guys too. a LOT. conner knows. i’m glad we got to talk a lot today. does steven get my parents' approval?” blaze giggles.

“well, dating a younger boy deducted some points. as well as having a lion for a pet… but helping my daughter with his problems and you helping him with his? costs way more than a younger man and a lion.”

blaze’s smile falters a tiny bit, “son.”

“ah yes, my son. not my daughter. either way, he gets our seal of approval. and so do you. welcome to the may family, mr. steven universe. anyway, if we don’t see you when you decide to leave: i love you honey. i want you both to visit again.”

steven and blaze smile together and nod. lizzy walks out and blaze cuddles up against him. they talk for a little while, about the day and all. they giggle, laugh and even show each other some memes on their phones. they calm down and just stare at each other. steven makes the first move, leaning in to kiss blaze. of course, he accepts it and kisses back. thing’s  _ start _ to get heated, with some light touches on the arm, steven ends up pinning blaze onto the bed.

unfortunately, out of nowhere, that same bright pink light comes but not the pink from earlier when steven panicked. they both glowed pink, looked at each other and then: boom. the whole room flashed a BRIGHT pink and suddenly the two lovers became one and fused again! staze, now appearing lying on his back, starts to giggle and giggle more.

“oh, steven, blaze. you guys are so in love, you ended up fusing. sorry to be the cockblock! ah, i love myself,” he giggles more and cuddles up against the bed to sleep. he whispers once more, ‘i love myself,’ and then snores off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO also my parents are divorced :clown: the appearances are the same, names are similar to mine. personality and other family history, no lol  
> anyway sorry this one is late, i got a lot in my bag rn :|


	13. stay with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> { stay with me }  
> { because without you here }  
> { i disappear }  
> { into infinity }

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ummmmm so this chapter is a bit shorter than the last few ones. it's also rushed ;; and ummmmm my laptop is kind of broken? I have to talk to my dad about it and idk how it happened but im scared to bring it up to him bc he'll just call me irresponsible lmao(: but um. yeah, ill hide it for a while until something happens LMFAO anyway uh. yeah. writers block :/ so take this small chapter and we aren't even at the climax yet :)

eyes open when the scent of fresh cooked biscuits, pancakes and overall just the delicious smell of breakfast comes in. a body lifts up and looks around and recognizes the room as blaze’s. not paying attention to what he looks like, or more like who he is, he gets up and stretches. he starts to walk downstairs and with confidence, he talks out loud.

“mmmm, morning mom! the food smells good!” then a whisper, “wait, mom..? i don’t, no steven doesn’t.. wait. am i-”

“morning, sweetie. just making a little celebratory breakfas- OH MY GOD! w-who are you??”

the human, in shock as well, looks at a spoon nearby him and sees his reflection. he’s staze! he stayed fused last night??

“o-oops!” and the fusion split apart with a thud on the floor and blaze’s mother just staring in not only shock, somewhat fear?

blaze is the first to speak when he stands back up, “m-mom! that’s a part of steven’s gem powers! fusing! that was our second time doing it, i thought we’d split while i slept but a-apparently not…”

his mom just stares… “wait... that’s kind of interesting.. is it like your… kid?”

they both blush immediately, and blaze quickly opposes that, “n-no! well, actually… kinda of?? but no! we become one person, we share the mind of one person. it’s kinda fun…”

after hours of explaining fusion to his mom (and eventually dad when he comes down and his mom decides to bring it up), eating and just having fun for a while longer with blaze’s parents, they both decide to leave. they visit conner and spend a few hours with him and then head home. the two have been enjoying their company more than anything. they love each other so much. blaze hasn’t felt this so… in love. he missed the feeling, but never missed the ex. and he’s more than happy to have that feeling with steven. however, blaze starts to notice something about steven. whenever someone mentions his mom or he seems to stare off into space, he tightens his grip on whatever he’s holding. blaze is always there to hold his hand and smile at him even though he doesn’t know what’s wrong, but he knows something is. blaze knows that you should always check in on your friends to make sure they’re okay mentally, and steven is his boyfriend, so he decides to do just that.

“hey, starry eyes. can we chat?”

steven looks up from his video game console, pauses the game and sits in a criss cross. he smiles at blaze, “what’s up, lovebug?”

“so... i seemed to have noticed a little… shift in your... behavior? personality? i, um. wanted to know if you wanted to talk.. about it?”

steven gives a blank stare in return, almost like a confused blank stare. was it a confused stare that said “was i that obvious,” or “what is he talking about?” so steven just smiles, holds blaze’s hand and leans forward to kiss his cheek.

“i’m thankful that you’re worried about me, but i’m fine. nothing is wrong. just, you know. getting tired easily these days. my sleeping schedule has been wonky since last month, so i’m getting tired easily.”

“is it because i’m always awake until 5 am playing fort knights and monsters crossing? babe, i can play downstairs to play so the light and noise doesn’t keep you up or just sleep earlier.”

“oh, no! it’s not that! it’s not you, it’s just my body. i’ll probably go out to buy some melatonin later tonight. but don’t worry about me, you don’t have to move or sleep earlier just because of me. in the end, **we wake up together** , right?”

blaze smiles, “of course, mr. demayo diamond universe. you can, uh, get back to the lonely blade game. i’m gonna fetch some food, yeah? what do you want for dinner? i can start prepping for it, or go shopping.”

“whatever you want love, just remember no meat for me!”

and so blaze goes off to find something to eat for the two of them, with plenty of thoughts running through his head. did he lie to him? did he say the truth? is he really  _ just _ tired? what’s going on? he preps dinner for them both and goes on with the night, ignoring what steven said and pretending he didn’t ask. and so a few days pass by, and steven becomes  _ visibly  _ obvious that something was wrong.

all blaze wants is to be a good boyfriend and he can’t be that if his boyfriend can’t trust him to tell the truth. or what if he’s a bad boyfriend for doubting steven and thinking he’s lying? does he not have trust in him? UGH it’s such a confusing topic and it’s grinding the gears in his head and it hurts, it hurts, it hurts,  **IT HURTS!** WHY he is so doubting of steven? why does he think steven is lying? did jayce make him believe that all his thoughts were so wrong that now, whenever he thinks something it’s wrong? ugh, it doesn’t matter. blaze knows his own instincts and his instincts say that steven is upset. so he approaches him  _ again _ . is that the best idea?

of course not.

“steven.”

“hm?”

“if something was wrong, you would tell me… right?”

he audibly groans and rolls his eyes, “this again? blaze, i’m fine. leave me alone.”

leave... leave me alone? excuse me?

“steven, no. i have instincts like any other human would and i know something is wrong. you don’t have to tell me what it is, but i just want to know if something  _ IS _ wrong. and do NOT say leave me alone!”

“nothing is wrong, blaze! what’s wrong is that i’m clearly fine. and i say what i want! i want you to leave me alone with this- this  _ shit _ !you keep  **bugging** me with this! you think i didn’t notice the constant lookouts on me? you talking to garnet about this? she came to me this morning with a veggie burger, apple juice and said  _ ‘here steven, in case you feel down this morning _ .’ like are you serious? i’m fine, blaze. seriously. let’s. just. drop this,” a pink hue slowly faded onto his skin, then slowly faded away. steven gets up from the bed, making his way to the door that leads outside beside his bedroom. he opens the door, and walks out.

over the last six months with steven, blaze has always noticed his flaws. steven becoming pink over silly things such as the tv remote not working, his save file not being saved, his phone lagging, when he gets nightmares in his sleep. clearly blaze knows this isn't normal. he knows now that when steven is upset, or angry, he’ll become pink. when it was brought up once, steven said his emotions go haywire sometimes and his gem reacts with it,  _ but it's nothing to worry about _ . well obviously, it is.

“No.”

steven stops from closing the door.

“blaze. i don’t want to argue with you. i dont like fighting with those i love.”

“then just tell me what’s wrong, steven. in order to have a healthy relationship, we need to communicate. i KNOW something isn’t right. whether it be you’re upset about me being awake until 5 am, or because i let the milk go bad, or if it’s because you’re thinking about the past , or maybe your mom-”

steven walks back in the room with a slam of the sliding doors. he gets really close to blaze,  _ too close for comfort _ (whereas any other time steven would get this close, they’d end up smooching or hugging, and it is his comfort). blaze backs up a step.

“don’t bring up my mother. she has nothing to do with this.”

“steven…” blaze lifts his hand slowly to reach for his arm.

“drop it,” he pushes his hand away.

“please…”

“i said  **_DROP IT!_ ** ”

blaze falls onto the bed, thankfully landing somewhere safe. however, that didn’t stop the fear that ran inside his head. steven just… snapped at him. and he’s glowing pink. half of blaze wants to snap back because he don’t take shit from no one, and he’s angry, but the other half is now scared of him. he doesn’t know the power he holds beneath that  handsome body. so he just stares at steven, and he stares back. that’s when blaze sheds the first tear. steven notices, but after lion comes as if on instinct. he teleports onto the bed, using his head to lift blaze’s arm up, and blaze immediately rolls off the other side of the bed. steven starts to speak blaze’s name, but is met with a portal in his face and soon enough, the two are gone.

steven just stares, and sighs.

lion teleports somewhere, and it ends up being blaze's parents house. blaze smiles softly, hopping off lion. he puts his head to his lil snout, and then knocks on the door. lion follows. blaze really needs to get a spare key.

the door opens and it’s his father. he gives blaze a huge ok grin and a big hug. he then looks of to the side to only see the cat and no steven. before he speaks, blaze opens up first.

“i'll talk about it inside, i’m chilly. let us in?”

“what did he do? why are you here without steven? clearly, he did something. lizzy said to bring him the next time you visit and it seems to me: he is not here. what happened?”

“we got in an argument and he yelled at me. it…. it was our first like, real argument? he s-snapped and then lion came to the rescue. that's, pretty much it.”

the parents go silent and then albert stands up, pushing his shirt sleeve back, “alright i have some underage male ass to beat-”

“dad, stop!” blaze starts with a little chuckle, “it's just an argument. i ran away from our problem rather than talk about it. it was my fault anyway, i was bugging him to answer a question. besides, dad. he's a powerful gem diamond. he’d beat your ass before you step foot near his house.”

“did he hit you?”

blaze looks at his mother, kinda in shock that she would ask that.

“n-no.. he wouldn't do that. i mean he pushed my arm away when i reached for his and but n-no… no hitting. he wouldn't ever do that.”

the rest of the talk was just about how blaze feels like moving in was too soon. maybe they should've done a road trip. he heard that road trips are the best relationship test. blaze, already missing steven, texts him because he feels bad that he left without telling him where.

blaze 8:15 PM: hey.

blaze 8:15 PM: save the apologies, i'm just here to say i'm at my parents house. i'll be back later.

steven 8:15 PM: Okay.

steven 8:16 PM: Can you call?

blaze 8:23 PM: nope.

blaze 8:23 PM: gn steven.

steven 8:24 PM: I love you.

blaze 8:44 PM: i love you too.

the night ends, and morning rises. blaze wakes up with lion next to him on his bed. he sighs, but allows it. he and steven never let the pets on the bed but it's whatever for now. he goes to check the time, it’s half past 11. he wants to leave before noon, before steven wakes up. he just wants to forget yesterday happened and to cuddle with his big baby. so he gets up, hops on lion and teleports back home, outside the house. he walks in to see steven sleeping on the couch, with a shit ton of ice cream. there’s... melted ice cream on the floor, his bed shirt, and some on his cheek. ugh, even with a messy face he looks so cute. blaze gets a warm washcloth and wipes his face. steven stirs in his sleep. then blaze throws the wet towel at his face and he wakes up immediately.

“huh? who’s there?” he looks around and then up at blaze. it takes a moment for his eyes to gain focus and then he stands up immediately. embarrassed about his appearance, he just rips off his shirt and uses the cloth to wipe his face. then, because he’s an idiot, he shivers from the cold. blaze rolls his eyes and goes to hug him, to warm him up.

“blaze…”

“hush. i know it’s almost noon, but. let’s just lay in bed.”

“i’m... blaze i’m sorry… i really am..”

“i said hush. let’s go, ice cream boy.”

so they just lay back in bed, cuddle and go back to sleep. until around like, mid afternoon/lunch time when amethyst wakes blaze up for an interesting offer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALSO pls forgive any spelling or grammar errors!! i wrote this at my cousins house so lowkey was distracted.


End file.
